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There are advertisements which are directed at children, such as of snacks, toys and other goods. Parents argue that these will have negative influences on their children. But the advertisers claim that advertisements provide some useful information to children. To what extent do you agree?

There are advertisements which are directed at children, such as of snacks, toys and other goods. Parents argue that these will have negative influences on their children. But the advertisers claim that advertisements provide some useful information to children. Rd0P
Advertisements are very popular in this new technology, by watching advertisements we are more informative about the new technologies, food, snacks, toys and so on. some parents believe that advertisements which are directed to children affect them negatively. This essay, however, does not agree with the claim of advertisement because watching advertisement by young children affects them badly. Firstly, children at a younger age do not know about the disadvantages of advertisements, watching advertisement about new toys can attract them. They compel their parents to buy the toys, which they watched earlier. Not only these there are so many other problems will occur when the parents did not buy the product to children they are becoming more aggressive, disobedient and so on. For instance, children watching some advertisements about the new toys in the shop when they go out with their parents, children persist for the toys they watch on advertisements. Secondly, advertisers claim that students watching advertisements provide some useful information. Moreover, they are boosting their product brand name and quality through social media. By watching these advertisements does not provide any pieces of information. Watching advertisements children watching the advertisement can lose their interest in studies. Only there are more disadventures for watching advertisements. For example, now for students, there are many education platforms, for that also advertisements are popping up on the screen, and access to these sites isf very difficult now. To conclude that advertisements directed to children can decrease their time for studying not only watching on Television, now on online platforms also. These days, children are addicted to these internet and TV platforms make the advertisement them more persist for that things. Advertisement showing about foods which are harmful to kids. It contains lots of chemicals. In my opinion, advertisements which are directed at children is not very good.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology, by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
we are more informative about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies, food, snacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
which
are directed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
affect them
negatively
. This essay,
however
, does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the claim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
affects them
badly
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a younger age do not know about the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
can attract them. They compel their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
earlier. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
these there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other problems will occur when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the product to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they are becoming more aggressive, disobedient and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
in the shop when they go out with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
persist for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on advertisements.

Secondly
, advertisers claim that students watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful information.
Moreover
, they are boosting their product brand name and quality through social media. By watching these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
does not provide any pieces of information. Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
can lose their interest in studies.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
there are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadventures
for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
for students, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
education platforms, for that
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are popping up on the screen, and access to these sites
Possible spelling mistake found.
isf
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

To conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
directed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can decrease their time for studying not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
watching on Television,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on online platforms
also
. These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are addicted
to these internet and TV platforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
them more persist for that things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
showing about foods which are harmful to kids. It contains lots of chemicals. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
which
are directed
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

IELTS essay There are advertisements which are directed at children, such as of snacks, toys and other goods. Parents argue that these will have negative influences on their children. But the advertisers claim that advertisements provide some useful information to children.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • There are advertisements which are directed at children, such as of snacks, toys and other goods. Parents argue that these will have negative influences on their children. But the advertisers claim that advertisements provide some useful information to children. To what extent do you agree?