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There are a fraction of people think that work takes the integral part of their life and succeeding in it result to have a meaningful life.

There are a fraction of people think that work takes the integral part of their life and succeeding in it result to have a meaningful life. eNYK
Everyone strives to succeed in the work career and it is a general tendency. There are a fraction of people think that work takes the integral part of their life and succeeding in it result to have a meaningful life. I completely disagree and this essay will prove a successful career is not mandatory to have a purposeful life. It is incorrect to say that only those who achieved the highest level in the career will lead a happy life. In contrary, a person to be successful in his career, he should be prepared to sacrifice many things. He has to sacrifice a lot to prove his commitment, dedication and loyalty towards the development of the company. All these factors will lead him to disassociate and distance from the family, thus causing for many domestic issues resulting with unhappiness and unpleasant environment at home. More importantly, it is important to understand the key pillars to have a happy lifetime. If one mistakenly provides more weightage to the material things in this world then without his knowledge he will give more focus on that without correctly knowing what really brings happiness. This might end up with frustration and disappointment because he is not realizing benefits for the effort he puts on the material achievement. We have witnessed many highly prominent career professionals end up suiciding without knowing the purpose of the life. In conclusion, though some people consider that successful work career is necessary for the human’s life, definitely it is not mandatory to have a meaningful life. The life could be purposeful even without being a career successful.
Everyone strives to succeed in the work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and it is a general tendency. There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "fractions"?
fraction
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that work takes the integral part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and succeeding in it result to have a meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I completely disagree and this essay will prove a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is not mandatory to have a purposeful life.

It is incorrect to say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those who achieved the highest level in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
will lead a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In contrary, a person to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, he should
be prepared
to sacrifice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. He
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
sacrifice a lot to prove his commitment, dedication and loyalty towards the development of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. All these factors will lead him to disassociate and distance from the family,
thus
causing for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
domestic issues resulting with unhappiness and unpleasant environment at home.

More
importantly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand the key pillars to have a happy lifetime. If one
mistakenly
provides more weightage to the material things in this world then without his knowledge he will give more focus on that without
correctly
knowing what
really
brings happiness. This might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with frustration and disappointment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
The verb 'realizing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is not realizing
benefits for the effort he puts on the material achievement. We have witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
highly
prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up suiciding without knowing the purpose of the life.

In conclusion
, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is necessary for the human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, definitely it is not mandatory to have a meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
could be purposeful even without being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
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IELTS essay There are a fraction of people think that work takes the integral part of their life and succeeding in it result to have a meaningful life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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