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Several Group of people opined that consumerism and the expansion of Businesses have pessimist Affect on surroundings and atmosphere. I agree with the statement because Consumerism And trading system is expanding burgeonically. So, expansion of trade and trading organisation is harmful for the atmosphere. To begin with, globalisation forms a great network of trades Of one country with another but, at the same point it has harmful effects too. Through Globalisation, druggist can do the trade of drug store which will cause Negative effect who upcoming generations, it can also cause job Insecurity, While prices of the goods We fluctuated. Moreover, terrorism can also get increased to exemplifyIn the year 2016 a survey was done by the thapar university Of Patiala which resulted that 70% Of the crimes in country India was done because of consumerism Call globalisation. Further more, the expansion And building of new organisation is also affecting the surrounding of an Individuals. Construction of a new national and multinational companies need or a year for their construction. So, deforestation has also been done to send these companies which we also affect Call ecosystem And surrounding. To cite an epitome, search was done in 2001 by Patiala University Of Patiala which consequented That 50 of plants were cut to expand companies and organisation. To Recapitulate, consumerism Can increase the Ricks Of crime whereas expansion of companies and organisation can promote Population and deforestation. Population can affect the ecosystem and deforestation can cause respiratory Problems. So, expansion Of Trade and trading companies in Harmful.
Several Group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opined that consumerism and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expansion
of Businesses have pessimist
Did you mean "effect"?
Affect
on surroundings and atmosphere. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Consumerism And trading system is expanding
Possible spelling mistake found.
burgeonically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expansion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
and trading
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is harmful for the atmosphere.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
forms a great network of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trades
Of one country with another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, at the same point it has harmful effects too. Through
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
, druggist can do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
of drug store which will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
effect who upcoming generations, it can
also
cause job Insecurity, While prices of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
We fluctuated.
Moreover
, terrorism can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
increased to
Possible spelling mistake found.
exemplifyIn
the year 2016 a survey
was done
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
thapar
university Of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Patiala
which resulted that 70% Of the crimes in country India
was done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of consumerism Call
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.

Further
more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expansion
And building of new
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is
also
affecting the surrounding of
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an individual" or simply "Individuals"?
an Individuals
. Construction of a new national and multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need or a year for their construction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, deforestation has
also
been done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which we
also
affect Call ecosystem And surrounding. To cite an epitome, search
was done
in 2001 by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Patiala
University Of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Patiala
which
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequented
That 50 of plants were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
to expand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.

To Recapitulate, consumerism Can increase the Ricks Of crime whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expansion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
can promote Population and deforestation. Population can affect the ecosystem and deforestation can cause respiratory Problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expansion
Of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trade
and trading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in Harmful.
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IELTS essay The writing was written by

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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