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The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago and goverments should stop spending large amount of money on their armed forces to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago and goverments should stop spending large amount of money on their armed forces with this statement P2lK
I think most of nations spend their 50% income on defense and left 50% on all other works. Every country want high level security forces. But in present time earth is more safer as compared to past. Some people say that solid defense is important and they agree with spending large amounts of income on armed forces. Other people disagree with this and i am also not agree with statement. I discuss my view on topic in next paragraphs. To begin with, nowdays no one interested in wars and in fights. Everyone wants peaceful nature so any country does not need to much solid armed forces but governments think they need world's best defense system so they spend near about 50% on nations security. But i think other sectors like education, health, entertainment need more than protection. Because many countries education and health services not good they need improvement in this sections. According to NDTV news survey which countries spend more money on forces they not have good education system and health services and citizens of that nations are poor knowledge about world. Furthermore, according to my thinking if country have High quality force they automatically want to test their power and they attack on poor countries. Result of it deaths of human beings and animals. For instance usa have world best army and high level weapons. In year 1945 they test their atomic bomb on Japan and it cause of one lack deaths. If goverment spend money on other good works its better because it is not harmful. For example sports like cricket, football, hockey etc if goverment spend on games nation found new good players and everyone enjoy sports as compare to wars. To summarized, in today's modern era every country spend lot of money on armed forces. Government not think about other sectors. Which are future of nations like education and health this two sectors more important.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their 50% income on defense and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
50% on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
works. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
want high level security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in present time earth is
Use only "safer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more safer
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that solid defense is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
important and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with spending large amounts of income on armed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree with this and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am
also
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with statement. I discuss my view on topic in
next
paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
no one interested in wars and in fights. Everyone wants peaceful nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
Did you mean "too"?
to
much solid armed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
world's best defense system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
near about 50% on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
security.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more than protection.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
improvement in
Did you mean "these"?
this
sections. According to
Possible spelling mistake found.
NDTV
news survey which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
they not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services and citizens of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are poor knowledge about world.
Furthermore
, according to my thinking if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have High quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
they
automatically
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
power and
they attack on poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Result of it deaths of human beings and animals.
For instance
Possible spelling mistake found.
usa
have world best army and high level weapons. In year 1945 they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their atomic bomb on Japan and it
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
of one lack deaths. If
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
works its better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not harmful.
For example
sports like cricket, football, hockey etc if
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "games'" or "game's"?
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
found new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
players and everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "enjoys", "enjoyed".
enjoy
sports as compare to wars. To summarized, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern era every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
lot of money on armed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors. Which are future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
this two sectors more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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IELTS essay The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago and goverments should stop spending large amount of money on their armed forces with this statement

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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