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The world is heavily depend on oil for energy which is unsustainable due to global warming .What future resources do you think will take oil’s place ?Why do you think this?

The world is heavily depend on oil for energy which is unsustainable due to global warming. What future resources do you think will take oil’s place? Why do you think this? n6Kx2
Nowadays, oil is used to produce power but it will be not used in future owing to global warming. In the upcoming easy I will explain some resources that will be used at the place o oil to generate power. There are some resources that will be used in the future for the production of power at the place of oil. The main resource of energy production will be solar energy. Solar energy is an advance mean to generate electricity. Japan, for example, is a leading country in the production of energy from solar Panjals. It is noticed that 7lakh 30 thousands solar panal are Already installed in Japan and it is predicted that it will be triple in next 30 years. Moreover hydrogen power electricity generation will be another resource of energy production water is available in different forms and with the help of dams large amount of energy will be generated in the future. There are some significant reasons that why other resources will be used to generate energy over the oil. Firstly, the other energy resources such as solar and water energy resources are renewable energy resources. These resources will be used again and again because these resources never exhaust like fossil fuel. Secondly, instead of oil other energy resources like solar and water are ecofriendly to the nature. The consumption of the resources will not cause any pollution so people give more priority to these resources at the place of oil to generate the energy. I conclusion I reiterate that in future other resources will be used at the place of oil to produce the power.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce
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power
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but
it will be not
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used
in
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future
owing to global warming. In the upcoming easy I will
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explain
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some
resources that will be
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used
at the
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place
o
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
to
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generate
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power
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
resources that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
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future
for the
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production
of
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power
at the
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place
of
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oil
. The main
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resource
of
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energy
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production
will be
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solar
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energy
.
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Solar
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energy
is an advance mean to
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generate
electricity. Japan,
for example
, is a leading country in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
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energy
from
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solar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Panjals
. It
is noticed
that 7lakh 30 thousands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
Possible spelling mistake found.
panal
are Already installed in Japan and it
is predicted
that it will be triple in
next
30 years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
hydrogen
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power
electricity generation will be another
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resource
of
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energy
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production
water is available in
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different
forms and with the
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help
of dams large amount of
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energy
will
be generated
in the
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future
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant reasons that why
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other
resources will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
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generate
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energy
over the
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oil
.
Firstly
, the
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other
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energy
resources such as
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solar
and water
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energy
resources are renewable
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energy
resources. These resources will be
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used
again and again
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because
these resources never exhaust like fossil fuel.
Secondly
,
instead
of
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oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
and water are
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecofriendly
to the nature. The consumption of the resources will not cause any pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give more priority to these resources at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
generate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. I conclusion I reiterate that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
resources will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
to produce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
.

IELTS essay The world is heavily depend on oil for energy which is unsustainable due to global warming. What future resources do you think will take oil’s place? Why do you think this?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
270 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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