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Some people think that zoo is the best way to protect animals while others suggest other ways of defending them. What is the best way to protect animals? Express your opinion.

Some people think that zoo is the best way to protect animals while others suggest other ways of defending them. What is the best way to protect animals? Express your opinion. RNpWo
To begin with today wild animals suffer from many different negative features, that is why many species of them are kept in zoos. But is it good for animals to live in such limited conditions? First of all people keep wild animals in zoos just to save them from merciless killing. For example, there are some kinds of hawks which are very rare today. That means a lot of poachers want to get rich by selling them. Secondly, people take care of animals, feed them, while in wild life they have to find food themselves. That is one of the advantages of zoos. In addition, living in zoos gives a real opportunity to animals to be protected from other animals. To be more exactly, do not have to defend their territory, to fight against their enemies, to be afraid of a sudden atack. Their life in zoos rather peaceful. Apart from pluses of keeping animals in zoos, there are some minuses of it. Firstly, zoos are public places, that is why a lot of visitors bother animals. people take photos whith them, feed them, even anger them. All these things whithout doubt affect the animals` life negatively. Moreover, wild animals have no enough space in the cage both to run and jump. Their life is not so meaningful and interesting comparing with life in forests, steppes or jungles. The worst thing about keeping animals in zoos from my point of view is that they can loose their natural instincts and then they become dapendent on people. If we send wild animals back to wild life it will be very difficult for them to survive and what is more there is a little chance to stay alive for a long time. On the whole, keeping wild animals in zoos is a good opportunity to save them for other generations, however zoos make wild animals rather domestic and tame, that is not so good for them. All in all I think it would be better to make more natural reserves than zoos, because they have much more in common with the wild life
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
features,
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of them are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such limited conditions?

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to save them from merciless killing.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of hawks which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. That means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
poachers want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rich by selling them.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, feed them, while in wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find food themselves.
That is
one of the advantages of zoos.
In addition
, living in zoos gives a real opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
be protected
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To be more exactly, do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
defend their territory, to fight against their enemies, to be afraid of a sudden
Possible spelling mistake found.
atack
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in zoos
rather
peaceful.

Apart from pluses of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minuses of it.
Firstly
, zoos are public places,
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
visitors bother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
take photos
Possible spelling mistake found.
whith
them, feed them, even anger them. All these things
Possible spelling mistake found.
whithout
doubt affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals`
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
negatively
.
Moreover
, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space in the cage both to run and jump. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
meaningful and interesting comparing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in forests, steppes or jungles. The worst thing about keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos from my point of view is that they can
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their natural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
instincts and
then they become
Possible spelling mistake found.
dapendent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
back to wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for them to survive and
what is more
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
chance to stay alive for a long time.

On the whole
, keeping wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to save them for other generations,
however
zoos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
rather
domestic and tame,
that is
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them. All in all I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more natural reserves than zoos,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have much more in common with the wild
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay Some people think that zoo is the best way to protect animals while others suggest other ways of defending them. What is the best way to protect animals? Express your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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