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The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces such as libraries, transportations, and shops. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces such as libraries, transportations, and shops. dRVp
Individuals who operate electronic devices are soaring day by day. It is argued that, use of cell phones must be not allowed in government areas such as libraries, transportations, and shops. I disagree with the claim and this essay will discuss the facts related to a given notion in detail. Undoublty, the use of mobile phones in public spaces can distract other people from their work. For example, In the library, the high ringtone volume of incoming calls may disturb the rest of an individual’s concentration while reading books or doing something else silently. Playing with tablets or phones in a hospital is also leads to creating a nuisance, eventually, it interferes with the serenity of a government hospital. Moreover, it also irritates the patients and other medical staff directly and indirectly. Uses of mobile phones in nearby public school areas are also causing distractions to students from their studies. Thus, mobile phone usage in such kinds of areas are prohibited. On the other hand, public properties such as city buses, railways, local shops, at which “silence” is not necessary, the usage of mobile phones can not be banned. Because, while traveling by public transportation services one can have to use their phones for many reasons like, spent their commute time by playing games, by watching movies, by reading E-books. Additionally, they have to inform their parents or loved ones that, they will reach at particular time or already reached at a specific time. Hence, gadgets must be allowed in these kinds of zones. In conclusion, personally, I think that, use of mobile phones or any other electronic devices are strictly prohibited, where “silence” is mandatory and they should be granted in such area where “tranquillity” is not compulsory.
Individuals who operate electronic devices are soaring day by day. It
is argued
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as libraries, transportations, and shops. I disagree with the claim and this essay will discuss the facts related to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion in detail.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Undoublty
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
spaces can distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from their work.
For example
, In the library, the high ringtone volume of incoming calls may disturb the rest of an individual’s concentration while reading books or doing something else
silently
. Playing with tablets or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in a hospital is
also
leads to creating a nuisance,
eventually
, it interferes with the serenity of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
hospital.
Moreover
, it
also
irritates the patients and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
medical staff
directly
and
indirectly
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Uses
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
also
causing distractions to students from their studies.
Thus
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage in such kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are prohibited
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
properties such as city buses, railways, local shops, at which “silence” is not necessary, the usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can not
be banned
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, while traveling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation services one can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons like, spent their commute time by playing games, by watching movies, by reading E-books.
Additionally
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
inform their parents or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones that, they will reach at particular time or already reached at a specific time.
Hence
, gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in these kinds of zones.

In conclusion
,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
electronic devices are
strictly
prohibited, where “silence” is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mandatory and
they should
be granted
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where “
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranquillity
” is not compulsory.

IELTS essay The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces such as libraries, transportations, and shops.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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