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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. MxWL
It is often thought that it is necessary to punish juvenile law breakers in the similar way as middle age people. While this thought of humankind is justifiable to some extent, I completely disagree with this opinion. Firstly, youth are not matured enough to understand this world like the adult one. They are still in their development phase mentally and physically. Furthermore, they are not capable of differentiating what is right and what is wrong for them. Due to this fact they tend to make incorrect decision and follow incorrect paths. For example, young people who commit serious crimes in Nepal are likely to be send in rehabilitation center rather than in prison. Therefore, they can realize their mistakes and learn some vocational training throughout the period. Secondly, we are now living in this advanced and consumer culture world. Adolescent get easily influenced by the things happening around him/her which might be correct or incorrect. Moreover, retroflexing somewhat terror or criminal scenes from film, internet, advertisement in their daily life lead them towards wrong way. They are completely unknown about what is happening with them because they have specific developmental needs. For instance, if they are sent in prison for their crime, they will be punished inside bars which would even worsen their behaviour and attitude which will result them being more cruel. To conclude, there is a huge difference in the developmental needs of an adult and youth, therefore, they shouldn't be punished in the same way as adult. Eventhough there are some positives of this approach, these can be easily neglected over its detrimental effects.
It is
often
thought
that it is necessary to punish juvenile law breakers in the similar way as middle age
people
. While this
thought
of humankind is justifiable to
some
extent, I completely disagree with this opinion.

Firstly
, youth are not matured
enough
to understand this world like the adult one. They are
still
in their development phase mentally and
physically
.
Furthermore
, they are not capable of differentiating what is right and what is
wrong
for them. Due to this fact they tend to
make
incorrect decision and follow incorrect paths.
For example
, young
people
who commit serious crimes in Nepal are likely to be
send
in rehabilitation center
rather
than in prison.
Therefore
, they can realize their mistakes and learn
some
vocational training throughout the period.

Secondly
, we are
now
living in this advanced and consumer culture world. Adolescent
get
easily
influenced by the things happening around him/her which might be correct or incorrect.
Moreover
,
retroflexing
somewhat terror or criminal scenes from film, internet, advertisement in their daily life lead them towards
wrong
way. They are completely unknown about what is happening
with
them
because
they have specific developmental needs.
For instance
, if they are
sent
in prison for their crime, they will
be punished
inside bars which would even worsen their
behaviour
and attitude which will result them being more cruel.

To conclude
, there is a huge difference in the developmental needs of an adult and youth,
therefore
, they shouldn't
be punished
in the same way
as adult.
Eventhough
there are
some
positives of this approach, these can be
easily
neglected over its detrimental effects.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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