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the unemployment rate is a serious social issue

the unemployment rate is a serious social issue Xn5MO
Nowadays, in this pandemic situation a number of companies shut-down their firms to reduce the operational cost, that impact into a high number of unemployment. As a result, it’s able to trigger a serious social issue In many countries. It can cause of the government regulation and also impact into a number of criminalisation. I would discuss in this essay about this cause and effect of this problem into the society. Todays, as we can see about the world situation in the midst of pandemic, it is harmful our economic and social life. Moreover, their family was lost in this situation. In this case, a number of countries like European countries, Japan, and Commonwealth countries was took an action to look-down and boarder controlled in their countries. The impact of this, companies not able to operated and it cause an high unemployment. For example, Debenhams is the largest retail company was shut-down their company because of government regulations, they unemployed around more than 1 thousand people around the world. Other instance, countries with majority income from tourism in this situation was catastrophic for them. This causes like “dominos effects”. However, on these regulation, government protected their society from a huge wave of covid-19. In the last year, while all of people stayed at home for almost 1 year, the number of criminal was climbed. Obviously, for some people in developed countries, they cannot worked at those time and their government doesn’t had enough cost to help their society, the fact that they only got money for living as thief. During this pandemic the number of online fraud was increasing, such as, WhatsApp fraud and Social media hacked. In my experience, I got WhatsApp fraud message to switched over my controlled on my WhatsApp, used my name to get a money from all of my contacts. Can you imagine, how many people are doing fraud like this with numerous motives and so many victims are gave their money to the hacker. To conclude, the firm cannot operated normally and buying market was decreased that caused cut-off of worker because of the government regulation to protected and controlled the expansion of the virus. Consequently, the online fraud growth significantly in the middle of pandemic.
Nowadays, in this pandemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
shut-down their firms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the operational cost, that impact into a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of unemployment.
As a result
, it’s able to trigger a serious social issue In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulation
and
also
impact into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'criminalisation' is British English.
criminalisation
. I would discuss in this essay about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
and effect of this problem into the society.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
, as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
about the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in the midst of pandemic, it is harmful our economic and social life.
Moreover
, their family
was lost
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
In this case
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, Japan, and Commonwealth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
was
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
took
an action to look-down and boarder controlled in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The impact of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
not able to operated and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
high unemployment.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Debenhams
is the largest retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
was shut
-down their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
, they unemployed around more than 1 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world. Other instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with majority income from tourism in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
was catastrophic for them. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
like “
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "dominoes", the plural form of the noun 'domino'?
dominos
effects”.
However
, on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
protected their society from a huge wave of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
.

In the last year, while all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stayed at home for almost 1 year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of criminal
was climbed
.
Obviously
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "work"
worked
at those time and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
doesn’t
The verb 'doesn't' requires base form of this verb: "have"
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
cost to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their society, the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
money for living as thief. During this pandemic the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fraud
was increasing, such as, WhatsApp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fraud
and Social media hacked. In my experience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
WhatsApp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fraud
message to switched over my controlled on my WhatsApp,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
my name to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "money".
a money
from all of my contacts. Can you imagine, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fraud
like this with numerous motives and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
victims are
Did you mean "give"?
gave
their money to the hacker.

To conclude
, the firm cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "operate"
operated
normally
and buying market
was decreased
that caused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-off of worker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulation
to protected and controlled the expansion of the virus.
Consequently
, the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fraud
growth
significantly
in the middle of pandemic.
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IELTS essay the unemployment rate is a serious social issue

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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