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Paraphrase the following The twenties were the years when drinking was against the law, and the law was a bad joke because everyone knew of a local bar where liquor could be had. They were the years when organized crime ruled the cities, and the police seemed powerless to do anything against it. Classical music was forgotten while jazz spread throughout the land, and men like Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became the heroes of the young. The flapper was born in the twenties, and with her bobbed hair and short skirts, she symbolized, perhaps more than anyone or anything else, America's break with the past. From Kathleen Yancey, English 102 Supplemental Guide (1989): 25.

Paraphrase the following The twenties were the years when drinking was against the law, and the law was a bad joke because everyone knew of a local bar where liquor could be had. They were the years when organized crime ruled the cities, and the police seemed powerless to do anything against it. Classical music was forgotten while jazz spread throughout the land, and men like Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became the heroes of the young. The flapper was born in the twenties, and with her bobbed hair and short skirts, she symbolized, perhaps more than anyone or anything else, America's break with the past. From Kathleen Yancey, English 102 Supplemental Guide (1989): 25. gYMka
As per Kathleen Yancey guide, that as per the judiciary of law, consumption of drinks at the age of twenties is illegal, people believe it is an ugly joke, on the contrary, everyone knows liquor will be served in the local bars, which leads the city to be on the dangerous side, in addition, the police are hopeless to fight against to the crime, Classical music got ruled out by the western music. moreover, Jazz became the modern trend, Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became famous. Furthermore, a flapper with her short hair and mini-skirts became Eminent.
As per Kathleen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yancey
guide, that as per the judiciary of law, consumption of drinks at the age of twenties is illegal,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe it is an ugly joke,
on the contrary
, everyone knows liquor will
be served
in the local bars, which leads the city to be on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
side,
in addition
, the police are hopeless to fight against to the crime, Classical music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
ruled out by the western music.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, Jazz became the modern trend,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bix
Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.
Furthermore
, a flapper with her short hair and mini-skirts became Eminent.
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IELTS essay Paraphrase the following The twenties were the years when drinking was against the law, and the law was a bad joke because everyone knew of a local bar where liquor could be had. They were the years when organized crime ruled the cities, and the police seemed powerless to do anything against it. Classical music was forgotten while jazz spread throughout the land, and men like Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became the heroes of the young. The flapper was born in the twenties, and with her bobbed hair and short skirts, she symbolized, perhaps more than anyone or anything else, America's break with the past. From Kathleen Yancey, English 102 Supplemental Guide (1989): 25.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
99 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Paraphrase the following The twenties were the years when drinking was against the law, and the law was a bad joke because everyone knew of a local bar where liquor could be had. They were the years when organized crime ruled the cities, and the police seemed powerless to do anything against it. Classical music was forgotten while jazz spread throughout the land, and men like Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became the heroes of the young. The flapper was born in the twenties, and with her bobbed hair and short skirts, she symbolized, perhaps more than anyone or anything else, America's break with the past. From Kathleen Yancey, English 102 Supplemental Guide (1989): 25.