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The two pictures show the comparison about the transformation of a trade conference in 2010 compared to 2009.

The two pictures show the comparison about the transformation of a trade conference in 2010 compared to 2009. gAEDl
The two pictures show the comparison about the transformation of a trade conference in 2010 compared to 2009. It is clear that while the top of the conference remained unchanged, it witnessed the radical changes in the main center area, with the noticeable replacement of meeting room and concert hall for exhibition space. After one year, the registration, the main and side entrance on the top had no changes in position, whereas, there was a new-build registration on the right-hand side. An additional lounge area was added to the balcony in 2010 as well. We can easily see considerable differences in the trade conference. The concert hall and meeting room were merged into one large room used for exhibiting reason. The concert hall including stage and less number of seats repositioned next to the balcony; however, its acreage was sharply decreased. Additionally, the meeting room and display area were demolished in the year 2010.
The two pictures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the comparison about the transformation of a trade conference in 2010 compared to 2009.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that while the top of the conference remained unchanged, it witnessed the radical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the main center area, with the noticeable replacement of meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and concert hall for exhibition space.

After one year, the registration, the main and side entrance on the top had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in position, whereas, there was a new-build registration on the right-hand side. An additional lounge area was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the balcony in 2010
as well
.

We can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
considerable differences in the trade conference. The concert hall and meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
were merged
into one large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for exhibiting reason. The concert hall including stage and less number of seats repositioned
next
to the balcony;
however
, its acreage was
sharply
decreased.
Additionally
, the meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and display area
were demolished
in the year 2010.

IELTS essay The two pictures show the comparison about the transformation of a trade conference in 2010 compared to 2009.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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