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The two figures below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the UK and the proportion of male and female prison inmates in the British prison system.

The two figures below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the UK and the proportion of male and female prison inmates in the British prison system. r9Ol
Given are two figure concerning criminality in Britain. The first provides data on the rates of conviction among men and women of various ages, while the second indicates the gender balance of the UK prison population It is apparent from the information supplied that the rate of conviction among Brits of both sexes increases exponentially during adolescence and peaks at the age of about 20. Also evident is the fact that men are far more likely to offend than women. From a negligible 2 percent among 10-year old boys, the male conviction rate soars to approximately 16 percent among 20-year olds. The percentage of female offenders, meanwhile, climbs from 0 percent among girls of 10 to some 5 percent for 20-year-olds. The subsequent decades, however, see dramatic decreases in criminality among both sexes. A mere 2 percent of crimes are committed by 60-year-old men and 0 percent by women of the same age. As for the proportion of male and female prison inmates, men outnumber women 24 to 1. Some 96 percent of all prisoners are men, while the remainder are female.
Given
are
two figure concerning criminality in Britain. The
first
provides data on the rates of conviction among
men
and
women
of various ages, while the second indicates the gender balance of the UK prison population It is apparent from the information supplied that the rate of conviction among Brits of both sexes increases
exponentially
during adolescence and peaks at the age of about 20.
Also
evident is the fact that
men
are far more likely to offend than
women
. From a negligible 2
percent
among 10-year
old
boys, the male conviction rate soars to approximately 16
percent
among 20-year olds. The percentage of female offenders, meanwhile, climbs from 0
percent
among girls of 10 to
some
5
percent
for 20-year-olds. The subsequent decades,
however
,
see
dramatic decreases in criminality among both sexes. A mere 2
percent
of crimes
are committed
by 60-year-
old
men
and 0
percent
by
women
of the same age. As for the proportion of male and female prison inmates,
men
outnumber
women
24 to 1.
Some
96
percent
of all prisoners are
men
, while the remainder are female.
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IELTS essay The two figures below show the rate of criminal convictions among men and women of different ages in the UK and the proportion of male and female prison inmates in the British prison system.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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