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The titanic and telephone

The titanic and telephone pKyqD
Today I will talk about Ngan’s the story. Ngan is a baker and she. , Titanic ship to travel in the world. She said she's stayed in the first class and when she stayed when she was staying it, she's sleeping all the time. And when the Titanic sinking event happened, she's is scary and nervous. She also say because the women and children first so She had a seat in the lifeboat. This is reason she has saved her life. And Titanic Disease event. This is a big event. See say she could never forget this evening.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I will talk about
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ngan
’s the story.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ngan
is a baker and she.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
Titanic ship to travel in the world.

She said she's stayed in the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
when she stayed when she was staying it, she's sleeping all the time. And when the Titanic sinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
happened,
Did you mean "she is"?
she's is
scary and nervous.

It seems that a verb is missing.
She
also
say
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the women and children
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
She had a seat in the lifeboat.

This is reason she has saved her life.

And Titanic Disease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
See
say she could never forget this evening.
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IELTS essay The titanic and telephone

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
98 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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