Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The table shows the changes with the primary income sources for interational students from 2003/04 to 2013/14 in the US. v.1

The table shows the changes with the primary income sources for interational students from 2003/04 to 2013/14 in the US. v. 1
The school plays a vital role in the child's development. Students are studying both in mixed-sex schools and single-gender schools to get elementary education. Therefore, it is imperative to know whether young ones need to enrol in unisex or same-sex schools. Although some individuals ascertain that one gender school is beneficial to provide a comfortable environment for children, others believe that mixed education helps to build a strong society. I do support the latter one. Indeed, same-gender classroom creates an open atmosphere for juveniles to share their opinions, which is pertinent to develop cognitive skills. Many girls can freely state their points on different topics in front of students if it is a female school. Also, teachers do not find any difficulty in teaching various biology chapters due to similar gender community is sitting on the benches. According to a report by the Hindu printing press, in India, most girls have topped the board exams, who is studying in girls' schools rather than co-ed education. However, I still believe the co-education system can bring more benefits to the society. Mixed-gender classroom studies, not only essence girls and boys they are equal, but also teaching them how to respect each others. While studying in a hall room, they start respecting opinions, views, and gender differences, thereby conflicts among them can be diminished. Arguably, both boys and girls have to work together, to build a strong nation so that it is a wise step to start educating in an early stage of childhood, their roles and responsibilities. In the USA, owing to the unisex education system, assaulting cases are lessened compared to other countries. Hence, the co-education study system is more advantageous. In conclusion, undoubtedly, both types of schooling have their own merits to educate students for the better world. Nevertheless, united education provides an opportunity for children to learn equality right, which makes them understand their actions to establish a strong country.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
plays a vital role in the child's development. Students are studying both in mixed-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and single-gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
, it is imperative to know whether young ones need to enrol in unisex or same-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals ascertain that one gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is beneficial to provide a comfortable environment for children, others believe that mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build a strong society. I do support the latter one.

Indeed
, same-gender classroom creates an open atmosphere for juveniles to share their opinions, which is pertinent to develop cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
can
freely
state their points on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topics in front of students if it is a female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Also
, teachers do not find any difficulty in teaching various biology chapters due to similar gender community is sitting on the benches. According to a report by the Hindu printing press, in India, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
have topped the board exams, who is studying in girls'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
rather
than co-ed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, I
still
believe the co-education system can bring more benefits to the society.

Mixed-gender classroom studies, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
essence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and boys they are equal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teaching them how to respect each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. While studying in a hall room, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
respecting opinions, views, and gender differences, thereby conflicts among them can
be diminished
.
Arguably
, both boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work together, to build a strong nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is a wise step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
educating in an early stage of childhood, their roles and responsibilities. In the USA, owing to the unisex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system, assaulting cases
are lessened
compared to other countries.
Hence
, the co-education study system is more advantageous.

In conclusion
,
undoubtedly
, both types of schooling have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits to educate students for the better world.
Nevertheless
, united
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides an opportunity for children to learn equality right, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them understand their actions to establish a strong country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The table shows the changes with the primary income sources for interational students from 2003/04 to 2013/14 in the US. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts