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The table below gives information about the economic value of international students in US in 2005, 2010 and 2015. The bar graph shows change in the number of international students from three countries in two of those years. v.1

The table below gives information about the economic value of international students in US in 2005, 2010 and 2015. The bar graph shows change in the number of international students from three countries in two of those years. v. 1
The debate weather the benefits of the internet as a medium to communicate with people around the globe are worth taking the risk of using it as a source of information, has become a matter of discussion for many. Personally, I believe that even though it has some negative aspects attached to it, however, its advantages clearly outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay, I shall examine and outline relevant examples and arguments to support my view. On the one hand, there are numerous predominant factors, which suggest in favour of using the internet as a tool for communication. Firstly, it allows the people to connect with their loved ones and family members, despite the distance between them. For example, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University, showed that the 52% of the communication in the world, is primarily dependent on the internet. Secondly, the amount of information that could be exchanged through online media, is the reason for the growth witnessed in the last 10 years. On the other hand, the negative consequences of this change are also undeniable. Today, it is not uncommon to see hackers causing significant damage to the public, by using the internet as a mean to steal information. For example, online scams and frauds are now a critical global issue. Many people loose their lifetime of savings in the matter of minutes. This is due to the fact that information available on the internet is not monitered or regulated by any government body, thus, making it unsafe. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in the contemporary life. From the given arguments and examples, I am inclined to say that the use of internet as a mean of communication brings more positive aspects than negative.
The debate weather the benefits of the internet as a medium to communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe are worth taking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of using it as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, has become a matter of discussion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
Personally
, I believe that
even though
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects attached to it,
however
, its advantages
clearly
outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay, I shall examine and outline relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
and arguments to support my view.

On the one hand, there are numerous predominant factors, which suggest in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of using the internet as a tool for communication.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to connect with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and family members, despite the distance between them. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the 52% of the communication in the world, is
primarily
dependent on the internet.
Secondly
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that could
be exchanged
through online media, is the reason for the growth witnessed in the last 10 years.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
are
also
undeniable.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, it is not uncommon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
hackers causing significant damage to the public, by using the internet as a mean to steal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, online scams and frauds are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a critical global issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their lifetime of savings in the matter of minutes.
This is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
available on the internet is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
monitered
or regulated by any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
body,
thus
, making it unsafe.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions in the contemporary life. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
, I
am inclined
to say that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet as a mean of communication brings more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below gives information about the economic value of international students in US in 2005, 2010 and 2015. The bar graph shows change in the number of international students from three countries in two of those years. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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