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The social media(facebook is influence people’s mind or effect their behaviou)

The social media(facebook is influence people’s mind or effect their behaviou) qQ65p
In mondoen times, the social media has became a controversial topic. Now a days, people are using very often such as Facebook. I agree the fact that social media has a negative side. The reason's why I believe this is because there do no limitation of users age, no restriction about adult contact, effecting bad on youth as well as waste of time. Generally speaking, every social media has some they do not have a limitation for user age contact. For an example, the youth are new curiosity of using facebook and some times they faces some adult ads which is  awkwards for them. However, others believed that social media has a positive hand like communication. Facebook brings world closer to us. We get news update and other useful report from it. While some people compare there news portal with television. If we judge positive sectors of facebook we find the communication sections are well developed and connected to each other. For example, it a abriend upload a picture in. bacebook wall, we might get a notification he is from me. It depends how much active - to vizit his update. It does not matter how bar on facebook. Although it's have some positive parts but the outfit of negativity eftected. are more negative At last, we judge facebook as a issue than we can give various reasons for it but also we have to kept the positive parts in our mind and judge in overall performance • In solution, facebook might have to work restict content and they need to ensure that what they are promoting. social restiction is also needed and that also includes Social user limitation as well as age limitation. In concluzion, I acknowledge the negative parts, because I find lacking in their monitoring pannel and their controlling pannel also. In solution, they have to remove negativity from facebook  as soon as they can.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
mondoen
times, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
Use past participle here: "become".
became


a controversial topic.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
such as Facebook. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree


the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side. The

Consider using the plural form here: "reasons".
reason's
why I believe this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there

do no limitation of users age, no restriction about

adult contact, effecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
on youth
as well
as waste of time.

Generally
speaking, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


they do not have a limitation for user age contact. For an example, the youth are new curiosity of using

Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "face"
faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adult ads which is
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Possible spelling mistake found.
awkwards
for them.
However
, others believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
hand like communication.

Facebook brings world closer to us.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
news update and other useful report from it.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
compare there news portal

with television. If we judge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sectors of
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
we find the communication sections are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
and connected to each other.
For example
, it
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
abriend
upload a picture in.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bacebook
wall, we might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a notification

he is from me. It
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
how much active
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-


to
Possible spelling mistake found.
vizit
his update. It does not matter how bar

on
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
. Although it's have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive


parts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the outfit of negativity

Possible spelling mistake found.
eftected
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
more

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative


At last, we judge
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a


issue than we can give various reasons for it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
parts in our mind and judge in
overall
performance

• In solution,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
restict


Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
content and
they need to ensure that what they are promoting.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
restiction
is
also
needed and that
also
includes Social

user limitation
as well
as age limitation.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
concluzion
, I acknowledge the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
parts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I find lacking in their monitoring

Possible spelling mistake found.
pannel
and their controlling
Possible spelling mistake found.
pannel
also
. In solution, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
remove negativity

from
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they can.
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IELTS essay The social media(facebook is influence people’s mind or effect their behaviou)

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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