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how do movies and television influence one's behaviour?use reason and specific examples to support your idea

how do movies and television influence one's behaviour? use reason and specific examples to support your idea jQ55y
The term''entertainment''is a term heard with increasing frequency in the ongoing debater over how movies and television influence people's behaviour? . Many reasearchers claim that the television's advantages has been eclisped its drawbacks so drastically that people in this day and age fail to heed. As a consequence, people are unconcious of the huge impact television and movies have fluctuated in the people's behaviour. My essay will discuss both views before reaching any certain conclusions. On the one hand, it is obviously that motion picture converges many drawbacks. Firstly, it interwines with virtual world, many evil scenes such as: violence, sexuality. . . . . They make an impression on people's characteristic, thinking and even action, especially people who are easily vulnerable. For instance, violence and sexual scences resulted in people's cruel behaviour. According to the media and several newspaper, there have been serial murder which committed in school in china, and scientists believe that youth and students are immersing themselves in virtual world, as a result they acted as if they were in the film. Secondly, the common phenomena occuring in the society is that students are leading a sedentart life, which involves in spending all day before the screen watching movies and television. People have a tendency to become a couch potato, overweight by virture of not exercising. Furthermore, some addicted people even broke the relationship between friends and relatives. The very evil condition leading to the disorganization in the society. On the other hand, motion picture is also critical and beneficial for our life. There behaviour will become positive when they feel at ease. What's more, some programes teach us distinguish wrong and right, teach us moral lesson. Several channel such as green day, discovery and animal planet can raise people's awareness about the environmental protection. To sump up, the invention of television and movies is not totally harm, whether the world is become better or not is up to people's behaviour
The term''entertainment''is a term heard with increasing frequency in the ongoing debater over how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasearchers
claim that the television's advantages has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
eclisped
its drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
drastically
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this day and age fail to heed. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
unconcious
of the huge impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
have fluctuated in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. My essay will discuss both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching any certain conclusions. On the one hand, it is
obviously
that motion picture converges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks.
Firstly
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
interwines
with virtual world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
evil scenes such as: violence, sexuality.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an impression on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
characteristic, thinking and even action,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
easily
vulnerable.
For instance
, violence and sexual
Possible spelling mistake found.
scences
resulted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
cruel
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. According to the media and
Possible agreement error. The noun newspaper seems to be countable; consider using: "several newspapers".
several newspaper
, there have been serial murder which committed in school in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
, and scientists believe that youth and students are immersing themselves in virtual world,
as a result
they acted as if they were in the film.
Secondly
, the common phenomena
Possible spelling mistake found.
occuring
in the society is that students are leading a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sedentart
life, which involves in spending all day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the screen watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have a tendency to become a couch potato, overweight by
Possible spelling mistake found.
virture
of not exercising.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
addicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even broke the relationship between friends and relatives. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
evil condition leading to the disorganization in the society.
On the other hand
, motion picture is
also
critical and beneficial for our life. There
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
when they feel at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. What's more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "programs", the plural form of the noun 'program'?
programes
teach us distinguish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and right, teach us moral lesson.
Possible agreement error. The noun channel seems to be countable; consider using: "Several channels".
Several channel
such as
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
green day
, discovery and animal planet can raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
awareness about the environmental protection. To sump up, the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is not
totally
harm, whether the world
is become
better or not is up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
behaviour
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IELTS essay how do movies and television influence one's behaviour? use reason and specific examples to support your idea

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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