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the sales of coffee and bananas in Fairtrade

the sales of coffee and bananas in Fairtrade j8pRp
In 1999 and 2004, the sales of Fairtrade, which are coffee and bananas, changed dramatically in five European countries. The sales of coffee was increasing significantly. In the UK, it increased from 1. 5 million euros in 1999 to 20 million euros in 2004. It was the highest growth, compared to the other four countries, which had a slight expansion. The increase in sales of Sweden's coffee was the same as that of Denmark's coffee. They increased only 0. 2 million euro, which was a small amount. For bananas sales, it was different between countries. Switzerland had the top sales of bananas with 47 million euros in 2004. The second position was the UK with 5. 5 million. However, in 2004, the bananas sales in Denmark was decreased, from 2 million to 0. 9 million euros. The sales in Sweden had the same change. In short, the sales of Fairtrade were different between five countries in Europe from 1999 to 2004. The sales was increasing over time.
In 1999 and 2004, the
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sales
of
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Fairtrade
, which are
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coffee
and bananas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
in five European countries.

The
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sales
of
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coffee
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "were".
was
increasing
significantly
. In the UK, it increased from 1. 5
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million
euros in 1999 to 20
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million
euros in 2004. It was the highest growth, compared to the other four countries, which had a slight expansion. The increase in
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sales
of Sweden's
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coffee
was the same as that of Denmark's
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coffee
. They increased
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only
0. 2
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million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'euro' seems to be countable, so consider using: "euros".
euro
, which was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount.

For bananas
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sales
, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between countries. Switzerland had the top
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sales
of bananas with 47
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million
euros in 2004. The second position was the UK with 5. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
However
, in 2004, the bananas
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sales
in Denmark
was decreased
, from 2
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million
to 0. 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
euros. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in Sweden had the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

In short, the
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sales
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fairtrade
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between five countries in Europe from 1999 to 2004. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was increasing over time.
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IELTS essay the sales of coffee and bananas in Fairtrade

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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