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The sale of tobacco should be banned Agree or disagree Why or why not Discuss your position 365 words

The sale of tobacco should be banned Agree or disagree Why or why not Discuss your position 365 words RNWLW
Tobacco industry is one of the biggest industries for decades. Because, many individual around the world demand those products for various applications. I disagree with the idea of banning tobaccos as a non-smoker and I would like to express the base of my idea in the following lines. First of all, the plants that are used to produce tobaccos have been growing for a very long time in different parts of the earth and these plants are in use since then via several methods. From the first ages of the human history, it is known that people used to smoke many types of tobaccos and some of those were used in medicine, therapy and healing. I also strictly support the statement that if a creature grows or lives on earth, then there must be a reason to benefit them. Here, the important point is to determine our aim and application way. Secondly, we need to consider that today, many people use tobacco to have fun and relax. There are many people who would like to use them voluntarily in daily routine even at work. Furthermore, almost every single person know the harms of these products however they still love to use them eagerly. But it is not our responsibility to stop or ban them since every human being are free to make their own decision and get away with the consequences. Of course, it is an undeniable fact that there are terrible side effects or threads of those products and I believe that consuming too much of any product would harm our body or maybe cause fatal illnesses. But, in my point of view, a tobacco user should have known that and must be aware of the possible results. Therefore, it is urgent to know your body, the ingredients and possible effects of the product, your usage purpose and the amount of usage of the product. I could only agree with the state that people mustn't use tobaccos in public, common or closed areas since the fume effects everyone in the place and personally I wouldn't want to be a passive smoker. Also, the smell after smoke is unbearable for a guy who doesn't smoke at all. Moreover, there must be an age limit to buy these products because, there are many curious teens and children. In order to protect their health and life style, sales must ask for an ID. To sum up, I think adult people should be able to reach any kind tobacco from stores unless they wouldn't limit non-smokers and young generations habitat.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tobacco
industry is one of the biggest industries for decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individual around the world demand those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for various applications. I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobaccos
as a non-smoker and I would like to express the base of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in the following lines.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the plants that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobaccos
have been growing for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the earth and these plants are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
since then via several methods. From the
first
ages of the human history, it
is known
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to smoke
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobaccos
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in medicine, therapy and healing. I
also
strictly
support the statement that if a creature grows or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on earth, then there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a reason to benefit them. Here, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is to determine our aim and application way.

Secondly
, we need to consider that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
to have fun and relax. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
voluntarily
in daily routine even at work.
Furthermore
, almost every single person know the harms of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
however
they
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
eagerly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is not our responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or ban them since every human being are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away with the consequences.
Of course
, it is an undeniable fact that there are terrible side effects or threads of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and I believe that consuming too much of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
would harm our body or maybe cause fatal illnesses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my point of view, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
user should have known that and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware of the possible results.
Therefore
, it is urgent to know your body, the ingredients and possible effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, your usage purpose and the amount of usage of the product.

I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mustn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobaccos
in public, common or closed areas since the fume effects everyone in the place and
personally
I wouldn't want to be a passive smoker.
Also
, the smell after smoke is unbearable for a guy who doesn't smoke at all.
Moreover
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be an age limit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
curious teens and children. In order to protect their health and life style, sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
an ID.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be able to reach any kind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
from stores unless they wouldn't limit non-smokers and young
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "generations'" or "generation's"?
generations
habitat.

IELTS essay The sale of tobacco should be banned Agree or disagree Why or why not Discuss your position 365 words

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
427 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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