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the sale of junk food in school cafeterias should be stopped

the sale of junk food in school cafeterias should be stopped R0BN8
Most people like junk food. It is considered as a popular choice whenever we want to eat some delicious things. Pizza, soda, hamburger or fried chicken are replacing the nutritious foods on our menu, including the school cafeteria menu. Students have consumed a lot of junk food through school canteens or vending machines. Personally, I totally agree that the sale of junk food in school cafeterias should be stopped to encourage better eating habits. Junk food is bad for our health and is related to many health problems. Most of the junk foods are low in nutritional value but high in fat and sugar that directly contribute to the obesity of students. Diabetes can also be caused by over consumption of junk food. Because of the high volume of sugar, junk food makes our bodies stop producing adequate insulin that is an important chemical for controlling blood sugar levels. This will lead to Type 2 diabetes which is considered as a common reason for death in modern life. Eating junk food affects bone and dental health. Growing students need a dramatic amount of calcium for the development of bone and teeth, so foods lacking calcium but reduntanting sugar like junk food should be replaced with more nutritious options. Another aspect of health problems resulting from junk food is student’s behavior. Chemical additives making colors and flavors for food are usually used over quantity to stimulate student’s tastes. They also lead to behavioural problems such as hyperactivity and poor concentration in students. Besides that, junk food can result in a decrease in brain activity. These toxic additives and preservatives have bad effects on thinking and cognition. Students cannot healthily grow or develop their studying potential with junk food over consumption. Schools should replace junk food with other better choices to make sure that their students will have the most nutritious meals. In addition, waste is an issue that will be partly solved by the limitation of junk food in schools. Its packaging is a significant contributor to the trash problem that increases the expense of cleaning up litter at school and creates negative images in public places. The majority of fast food is packaged in plastic packaging that must be discarded after use. Unfortunately, many irresponsible students throw away this packaging in areas other than rubbish bins. As a result, in order to reduce trash, the selling of junk food in school canteens should be prohibited. People say that junk food has some benefits such as being delicious, cheap, convenient, and the nutrients in them are improving. However, these positive aspects cannot be compared to a lot of disadvantages that junk food brings to students such as obesity or overactivity. Their health is always the most important thing. Instead of using this kind of food, schools should improve their student’s meals, which must be both nutritious and delicious. In conclusion, although junk food is a preferable source of food, it needs to be stopped from being served in school cafeterias because of a lot of drawbacks. The sale of junk food gives bad impacts on the health and behavior of students and creates more litter in schools. They still have appetizing and health-giving meals without junk food.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. It
is considered
as a popular choice whenever
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
we


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
want
to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
delicious things. Pizza, soda, hamburger or fried chicken are replacing the nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
on our menu, including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
cafeteria menu.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
have consumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
canteens or vending machines.
Personally
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
cafeterias should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
to encourage better eating habits.

Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
is related
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Most
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are low in nutritional value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
high in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar that
directly


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
contribute
to the obesity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Diabetes can
also
be caused
by over
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
consumption


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the high volume of sugar,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our bodies
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
stop


producing adequate insulin
that is
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
chemical for controlling blood sugar

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
levels
. This will lead to Type 2 diabetes which
is considered
as a common reason
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
death
in modern life. Eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
affects bone and dental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Growing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
students


need a dramatic amount of calcium for the development of bone and teeth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
foods

lacking calcium
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
reduntanting
sugar like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be replaced
with more

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nutritious
options.

Another aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
resulting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
behavior.

Chemical additives making colors and flavors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
over quantity to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
tastes. They
also
lead to
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as hyperactivity and poor concentration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can result in a decrease in brain activity. These toxic additives and preservatives have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on thinking and cognition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
cannot
healthily
grow or develop their studying potential with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over consumption.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with other better choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have the most nutritious meals.

In addition
, waste is an issue that will be partly solved by the limitation of junk

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Its packaging is a significant contributor to the trash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


increases the expense of cleaning up litter at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
images in

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
public
places. The majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is packaged
in plastic packaging that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
be


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
discarded
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
irresponsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
throw away this

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
packaging
in areas other than rubbish bins.
As a result
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
trash,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
selling
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
canteens should
be prohibited
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits such as being delicious,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
,

convenient, and the nutrients in them are improving.
However
, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects

cannot
be compared
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disadvantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
brings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
such as

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obesity
or overactivity. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is always the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing.
Instead
of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
using


this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
meals, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be both

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nutritious
and delicious.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a preferable source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it needs to be

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stopped
from
being served
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
cafeterias
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
drawbacks. The
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sale


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and behavior of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and creates
Use only "litter" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more litter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. They
still
have appetizing and health-giving meals without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
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IELTS essay the sale of junk food in school cafeterias should be stopped

Essay
  American English
31 paragraphs
536 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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