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childrens today spend more time watching tv to pass time describe advantages and disavantages

childrens today spend more time watching tv to pass time describe advantages and disavantages 3WmYm
Due to advancement in technology, modes of entertainment have changed a lot over past decades. Children these days spend most of their time in front of screen which was not the same earlier. This has both merits and demerits of its own are explained further in this essay. Viewing television acknowledges a child with ample amount of resources from where they can fetch information. The concept of global village is fascinating where one can get to know what is happening in other country or state by scrolling through various channels. Television channels such as Animal Planet and Discovery provide vast information about existing biodiversity and modern day science. Moreover, it has been observed that watching cartoons, has helped a child develop language faster than others as while consuming content they even grasp vocabulary of the language spoken. However its drawbacks are very well known by us. Sitting in front of television for long hours is addictive. A child may loose interest in outdoor activities and become lazy. Since the invention of television, rise is seen in the number of obese patients between the age group of 11 to 19. Along with this it is frequent for a child to complain regarding burning eyes and headache caused due to long hours in front of screen. The content which is telecasted is not for a child only thus one needs to keep eye constantly regarding it. To conclude, watching television with proper parental guidance and with time limit can be fruitful for a child. Likewise, opposite of it can affect both mental and physical wellbeing.
Due to advancement in technology, modes of entertainment have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot over past decades. Children these days spend most of their time in front of screen which was not the same earlier. This has both merits and demerits of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
further
in this essay.

Viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
acknowledges a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with ample amount of resources from where they can fetch information. The concept of global village is fascinating where one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know what is happening in other country or state by scrolling through various channels.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
channels such as Animal Planet and Discovery provide vast information about existing biodiversity and modern day science.
Moreover
, it has
been observed
that watching cartoons, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
develop language faster than others as while consuming content they even grasp vocabulary of the language spoken.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
its drawbacks are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well known by us. Sitting in front of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for long hours is addictive. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
interest in outdoor activities and become lazy. Since the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, rise is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the number of obese patients between the age group of 11 to 19. Along with this it is frequent for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to complain regarding burning eyes and headache caused due to long hours in front of screen. The content which is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
is not for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thus
one needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
eye
constantly
regarding it.

To conclude
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
with proper parental guidance and with time limit can be fruitful for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
Likewise
, opposite of it can affect both mental and physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.
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IELTS essay childrens today spend more time watching tv to pass time describe advantages and disavantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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