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The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. 513m
Children are a gift of God for their parents and both of them are jointly liable for their broughtup. As far as my stance is concerned, I totally agree with this viewpoint owing to the fact that firstly, it is a nature's call and secondly, for it is crucial for the personality of the children. Lets elaborate this narrative in the appended paragragraphs. To start with, I strongly favor the concept of combined upbringing of the children by their parents because of the reasoning that it is something which nature expects us to do. Likewise, a woman can not give birth to a baby on its own, similarly, any one of the parents can not adequatley handle the baby alone after its birth. Furthermore, take the example of a car, it is a famous saying that “both husband and wife are like two wheels of a car” meaning thereby that a car can not move even if one of its wheels is not attached to it, therefore, the same is true when we talk about shared upbringing of the children by their parents. In addition, another reason why I believe that both the men and the women should take care of their child in a combined manner is the fact that it is extremely imperative for the personality development of a child that he or she spends a healthy amount of time with both the parents. By doing this, he would feel secure, confident and blessed and resultantly, he or she would be able to tackle with the complexities of life in a more proficient and prepared way. In conclusion, I would once again like to reiterate my narrative that both husband and wife should be keen to look after their kids collectivley not only because it is their implied duty but at the same time it is essential to groom the psersonal traits of their babies.
Children
are a gift of God for their
parents
and both of them are
jointly
liable for their
broughtup
. As far as my stance
is concerned
, I
totally
agree
with this viewpoint owing to the fact that
firstly
, it is a nature's call and
secondly
, for it is crucial for the personality of the
children
.
Lets
elaborate this narrative in the appended
paragragraphs
.

To
start
with, I
strongly
favor the concept of combined upbringing of the
children
by their
parents
because
of the reasoning that it is something which nature
expects
us to do.
Likewise
, a woman can not give birth to a baby on its
own
,
similarly
, any one of the
parents
can not
adequatley
handle the baby alone after its birth.
Furthermore
, take the example of a car, it is a
famous
saying that “both husband and wife are like two wheels of a car” meaning thereby that a car can not
move
even if one of its wheels is not attached to it,
therefore
, the same is true when we talk about shared upbringing of the
children
by their parents.

In addition
, another reason why I believe that both the
men
and the women should take care of their child in a combined manner is the fact that it is
extremely
imperative for the personality development of a child that he or she spends a healthy amount of time with both the
parents
. By doing this, he would feel secure, confident and blessed and
resultantly
, he or she would be able to tackle with the complexities of life in a more proficient and prepared way.

In conclusion
, I would once again like to reiterate my narrative that both husband and wife should be keen to look after their kids
collectivley
not
only
because
it is their implied duty
but
at the same time it is essential to groom the
psersonal
traits of their babies.
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IELTS essay The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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