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The report reveals the changes that active participation rates in top ten sports in Canada in 1998 and 2005.

The report reveals the changes that active participation rates in top ten sports in Canada in 1998 and 2005. M361L
The report reveals the changes that active participation rates in top ten sports in Canada in 1998 and 2005. Overall, it is clearly seen that majority of candian people who participated in golf was highest proportion while the cycling was lowest than others. The trand was rise constantly. In 1998, the rate of active participation in Canada was 15 % in tennis in 1998 while 8% in 2005. The proportion of people who participated in vollyball was 14% in 1998 while in 2005 it was 8%. Baseball was paricipated by candian people was 18% in 1998 it was decline in 2005 and went 8%. Swimming were participated by the candian people was 13% in 1998 while 11% in 2005. In 1988 Ice hockey was 18% while it was a slight decline and reach was 16%. In 1998 the proportion of people who participated in golf was 24% and reach on the top while in 2005 it was decline was 21%.
The report reveals the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that active participation rates in top ten sports in Canada in 1998 and 2005.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that majority of
Possible spelling mistake found.
candian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in golf was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
proportion while the cycling was
Use "lower" to make a comparison with this adjective.
lowest
than others. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
trand
was rise
constantly
.

In 1998, the rate of active participation in Canada was 15 % in tennis in 1998 while 8% in 2005. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
vollyball
was 14% in 1998 while in 2005 it was 8%. Baseball was
Possible spelling mistake found.
paricipated
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
candian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was 18% in 1998 it was decline in 2005 and went 8%.

Swimming were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
candian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was 13% in 1998 while 11% in 2005. In 1988 Ice hockey was 18% while it was a slight decline and reach was 16%. In 1998 the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in golf was 24% and reach on the top while in 2005 it was decline was 21%.

IELTS essay The report reveals the changes that active participation rates in top ten sports in Canada in 1998 and 2005.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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