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the reason and it's negative effect of students's stress

the reason and it's negative effect of students's stress nEjYR
Students are trapped in stress when it comes to the new semester, but the overload stress may consequence to serval problems. This essay will focus on its further discussion. The stress may comes from some aspects that is familiar among students. When there is not enough time and energy to deal with the tasks from teachers and students are asked to finish them in time, stress will pour in the mind. And when facing the long term task like researching materials to write the report, the previous effort turn out to be useless, the condition will no more than stressful. Stress may come from others like parents’ expectation that may worse when there is a conflict between parents’ and themselves’, it will continue to be the drama they face every day. Adults believe that stress may benefit to help make a progress, but the stress it self turn out to be something harmful to students’ health and study. Stress will drag one out of the issue he(she) is concentrating on, and the drama instead, which will slow down the efficient of study. Then, the stress will disturb people’s rest time, their sleep quality will decrease thus make people face tomorrow’s issue with a poor condition. These consequences will act as a snowball and become bigger and hard to control as the snow ball rolls bigger and bigger. To sum up, stress may come from the lives, others, and student themselves, and it turn out to be tricky when it is left alone. So we need keep a correct attitude to deal with it together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are trapped
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
when it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
to the new semester,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the overload
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
may
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
Possible spelling mistake found.
serval
problems. This essay will focus on its
further
discussion.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects
that is
familiar among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. When there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time and energy to deal with the tasks from teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are asked
to finish them in time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
will pour in the mind. And when facing the long term task like researching materials to write the report, the previous effort turn out to be useless, the condition will no more than stressful.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
come
from others like parents’ expectation that may worse when there is a conflict between parents’ and themselves’, it will continue to be the drama they face every day.

Adults believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
may benefit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a progress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
Did you mean "itself"?
it self
turn out to be something harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
health and study.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
will drag one out of the issue he(she) is concentrating on, and the drama
instead
, which will slow down the efficient of study. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
will disturb
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s rest time, their sleep quality will decrease
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face tomorrow’s issue with a poor condition. These consequences will act as a snowball and become bigger and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to control as the snow ball rolls bigger and bigger.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
come
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, others, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
themselves, and it
Did you mean "turns"?
turn
out to be tricky when it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a correct attitude to deal with it together.
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IELTS essay the reason and it's negative effect of students's stress

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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