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The reading passage presents some supporting points of altruism as a self less act in humans and animals. The lecturer casts doubt on each of these points and mentions that humans and animals have their own benefits behind this behavior, and thus it is not a self less act.

The reading passage presents some supporting points of altruism as a self less act in humans and animals. The lecturer casts doubt on each of these points and mentions that humans and animals have their own benefits behind this behavior, and thus it is not a self less act. 2bP3M
< object width=" 148" height=" 44" > < param name=" movie" value=" http: //vocaroo. com/player. swf? playMediaID=s05jKfriXYRx& autoplay=0" > < /pa… name=" wmode" value=" transparent" > < /param> < embed src=" http: //vocaroo. com/player. swf? playMediaID=s05jKfriXYRx& autoplay=0& quot; width=" 148" height=" 44" wmode=" transparent" type=" application/x-shockwave-flash" > < /embed> < /object> < br> < a href=" http: //vocaroo. com& quot; style=" font-size: xx-small; " title=" Vocaroo Voice Recorder" > Record and upload voice & gt; & gt; < /a> The reading passage presents some supporting points of altruism as a self less act in humans and animals. The lecturer casts doubt on each of these points and mentions that humans and animals have their own benefits behind this behavior, and thus it is not a self less act. To begin with, the reading passage states that humans share their food and donate their organs to their family members and strangers without getting anything in return. However, the lecturer asserts that humans shows altruism to gain rewards in return. She gives an example of an extreme case and mentions that if a person donate his kidney to his family members or a stranger, he will be appreciated by his society and a strangers. Thus people dive their organs and food to get the rewards in return. This appears to be a contradiction to the assertion stated in the reading passage. In addition, the reading passage asserts that the sentinel meerkat be guard for its species to keep eye on predator and warns other meerkats if a predator is approaching. Furthermore, this sentinel meerkat does not eat when they are watching for other animals, which shows its selfless act. However, the lecturer points out that study has proven after close examination of eating pattern of this species that the guard meerkat already eats food before standing as a guard. Thus it is full stomach while watching for others. Moreover, the lecturer states that other study has proven that the sentinel meerkat stands near to its burrow, so it can go back very quickly in its dwelling. She also mentions that this guard meerkat actually put other meerkats in danger because when it cries to warn others, other meerkats run in herds. This catches the attention of the predator on these running animals. Thus, this sentinel meerkat sacrifices it self for its species.
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The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage presents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supporting points of altruism as a self less act in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
casts doubt on each of these points and mentions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits behind this behavior, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
it is not a self less act.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
share their food and donate their organs to their family members and strangers without getting anything in return.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
asserts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
altruism to gain rewards in return. She gives an example of an extreme case and mentions that if a person donate his kidney to his family members or a stranger, he will
be appreciated
by his society and
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a stranger" or simply "strangers"?
a strangers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dive their organs and food to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the rewards in return. This appears to be a contradiction to the assertion stated in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
passage asserts that the sentinel
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkat
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guard
for its species to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
eye on predator and warns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkats
if a predator is approaching.
Furthermore
, this sentinel
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkat
does not eat when they are watching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
its selfless act.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
points out that study has proven after close examination of eating pattern of this species that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guard
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkat
already eats food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
standing as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guard
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is full stomach while watching for others.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturer
states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
study has proven that the sentinel
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkat
stands near to its burrow,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can go back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
in its dwelling. She
also
mentions that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guard
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkat
actually put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkats
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when it cries to warn others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkats
run in herds. This catches the attention of the predator on these running
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, this sentinel
Possible spelling mistake found.
meerkat
sacrifices
Did you mean "itself"?
it self
for its species.
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IELTS essay The reading passage presents some supporting points of altruism as a self less act in humans and animals. The lecturer casts doubt on each of these points and mentions that humans and animals have their own benefits behind this behavior, and thus it is not a self less act.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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  • The reading passage presents some supporting points of altruism as a self less act in humans and animals. The lecturer casts doubt on each of these points and mentions that humans and animals have their own benefits behind this behavior, and thus it is not a self less act.