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Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. QLMp3
In this modern world, celebrity’s bad qualities in personal activities and affairs are highlighted in the media. Some people reckon that it is harmful for the youngsters to follow them as a role model. I partially agree that it is grievous t0 follow celebrities as idol to teenager but their fair qualities should not be disregard. To begin with, horrific behavior of the celebrity’s temp younger generation to follow as they assume that it is accepted in the society. For example, the actor acts like smoking in consuming alcohol which attracts younger audience to adopt the same activities which result in serious consequence in their lifetime. It altogether affects the society as they have perilous diseases in the future. Some people would follow as their celebrities by buying expensive items which is not needed result in debt or robbery for the fan following. Despite the appalling behavior of celebrities they possess some tremendous qualities like participating in philanthropy and supporting health awareness. For example, famous music composer A. R. Rahman is well known for his marvelous music who is a philanthropist and ambassador of UNICEF (United Nations International Child’s Emergency Fund) which promotes better health and education facilities for children. By effective participation of this celebrity encourage youth to support and donate for charities and child education. To conclude, though celebrities motivates immoral behavior among youths there are admirable activities cannot be ignored. They deliver both peril and remarkable message to the public. It is younger generation responsibilities to take only the excellent qualities from the famous personalities.
In this modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
in personal activities and affairs
are highlighted
in the media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that it is harmful for the youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them as a role model. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is grievous t0
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
as idol to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
should not be disregard.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, horrific behavior of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity’s
temp younger generation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
as they assume that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in the society.
For example
, the actor acts like smoking in consuming alcohol which attracts younger audience to adopt the same activities which result in serious consequence in their lifetime. It altogether affects the society as they have perilous diseases in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
by buying expensive items which is not needed result in debt or robbery for the fan following.

Despite the appalling behavior of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
they possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
like participating in philanthropy and supporting health awareness.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
music composer A. R. Rahman is well known for his marvelous music who is a philanthropist and ambassador of UNICEF (United Nations International Child’s Emergency Fund) which promotes better health and education facilities for children. By effective participation of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
encourage youth to support and donate for charities and child education.

To conclude
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
motivates immoral behavior among youths there are admirable activities cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. They deliver both peril and remarkable message to the public. It is younger generation responsibilities to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities.
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IELTS essay Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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