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Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent During the same year Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space mo

Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent During the same year Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space mo OVExk
The president of humana university predicts that instituting online programs will help the school both increase its enrollment and relief the budget burden, due to the fact that the increased number of students in the online programs and the decreased expenditures in omni university. however, some questions should be answered in order to evalute the prediction. The first question we need to ask is that whether the online degree program would stimulate more students to enroll in the university. Perhaps, in omni university, it is inconvenient for students to take part in classes. As a result, after getting such information from their seniors, many students choose to take online courses, but the total number of students who enter omni university remains the same or even decrease. if that is true, the online program will not be able to attract more students to choose humana. Asides of the question about the relation between online projects and enrollment, we should also examine the question about the cause of declined expenditures in omni. is the online degree projects that help saved the cost of maintaining the buildings? it is possible that after omni has accomplished its construction or modification of many new buildings, they have already cut the budget of such projects, decreasing the expenditures for these activities. this means, even without a online degree program, the cost on such issue will also decrease. Besides, maybe with the online degree available, there are still many students choose to study in the campus, leading to relatively smaller decrease cost in maintaining the infrastructure. Therefore, the proposal in humana university will not realize its goal on saving their budget. even if such online degree program can actually save the budget on maintaining the facilities, we still need to ask the question about whether the cost of online program will eventually help reduce the total cost. What is overlooked is the cost of building the online learning system which is competent enough to provide students with the courses they need. To achieve such goal, humana university would have to purchase many servers to build a online learning system, hire more engineers to maintain such system and ask teachers to prepare online cources, which is quite different with traditional classes. Admittedly, such project would help save the money consumed on maintaining facilities, the total cost to maintain the online learning system as a whole, however, will outweigh the that on the money saved. In this circumstance, the budget problems will not be saved. it is understandable that the president of humana university is eager to solve the problems about the enrollment and budget. but it is sensible to examine the questions mentioned above in order to evaluate whether the online projects will actually solve these problems.
The president of
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humana
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
predicts that instituting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the school both increase its enrollment and relief the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
burden, due to the fact that the increased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and the decreased expenditures in
Possible spelling mistake found.
omni
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
should
be answered
in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
evalute
the prediction.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
we need to ask is that whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
would stimulate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enroll in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Perhaps, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
omni
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, it is inconvenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in classes.
As a result
, after getting such information from their seniors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who enter
Possible spelling mistake found.
omni
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
remains the same or even decrease.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
that is
true, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
will not be able to attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose
Possible spelling mistake found.
humana
.

Asides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
about the relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
and enrollment, we should
also
examine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
about the cause of declined expenditures in
Possible spelling mistake found.
omni
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
saved the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
the buildings?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is possible that after
Possible spelling mistake found.
omni
has accomplished its construction or modification of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new buildings, they have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, decreasing the expenditures for these activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
means, even without
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
on such issue will
also
decrease.
Besides
, maybe with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
available, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose to study in the campus, leading to
relatively
smaller decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
the infrastructure.
Therefore
, the proposal in
Possible spelling mistake found.
humana
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will not realize its goal on saving their budget.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
can actually save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
the facilities, we
still
need to ask the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
about whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
will
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
. What
is overlooked
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of building the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
which is competent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the courses they need. To achieve such goal,
Possible spelling mistake found.
humana
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
servers to build
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, hire more engineers to maintain such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and ask teachers to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
cources
, which is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with traditional classes.
Admittedly
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
save the money consumed on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintaining
facilities, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
as a whole,
however
, will outweigh the that on the money saved. In this circumstance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
problems will not
be saved
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is understandable that the president of
Possible spelling mistake found.
humana
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is eager to solve the problems about the enrollment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
it is sensible to examine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
questions
mentioned above in order to evaluate whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
will actually solve these problems.

IELTS essay Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent During the same year Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space mo

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
459 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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