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The reading passage and the lecture have conflicting opinions about whether or not the arrival of humans to the Mauritius island was the main cause behind the extinction of a flightless bird species.

The reading passage and the lecture have conflicting opinions about whether or not the arrival of humans to the Mauritius island was the main cause behind the extinction of a flightless bird species. KwYg3
The reading passage and the lecture have conflicting opinions about whether or not the arrival of humans to the Mauritius island was the main cause behind the extinction of a flightless bird species. The article strongly postulates that the dodo extinction was due to the actions of dutch settlers. On the other hand, the speaker in the lecture adamantly delineates that humans are not responsible for the dying out of the bird and it could be nature itself. First and foremost, the author claims that since the bird was never exposed to humans, it was not afraid and as a result, it did not run away and it was easily hunted. In addition, farm animals that were brought by colonists could have destroyed the eggs and the nests, which were on the ground. However, the lecturer casts doubt on this argument by declaring that although humans were capable of catching the flightless bird with ease, they never liked its tough and bad-tasting meat. the listening further elaborates that the dutch named it the disgusting bird in their native tongue owing to the aforementioned fact. Secondly, the professor indicates that even though newcomers tried to alter the land for agriculture by clearing up forests, this process did not affect the bird habitat since large portions of the island were still intact when the last dodo was spotted around the late seventeenth century. What's more, other bird species were able to survive after the disappearance of the dodo. this claim refutes the writer's implications of how people devastated the natural habitat of the bird by chopping down trees and depriving the bird from its food supply. Lastly, according to the excerpt, humans, or the livestock they brought, might have transmitted a new disease to the area, which could have wiped out this specific creature, especially it's well-known that new species always wreak havoc on native ones. Nevertheless, the lecturer asserts that the bird population was already declining before the arrival of humans. Plus, nature could have played a major role in the loss of this species since cyclones and high winds were known to hit the island and they could have demolished the eggs and the nests that were on the open ground.
The reading passage and the lecture have conflicting opinions about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
the arrival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to the Mauritius island was the main cause behind the extinction of a flightless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
species. The article
strongly
postulates that the dodo extinction was due to the actions of dutch settlers.
On the other hand
, the speaker in the lecture
adamantly
delineates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are not responsible for the dying out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
and it could be nature itself.

First
and foremost, the author claims that since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
was never exposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, it was not afraid and
as a result
, it did not run away and it was
easily
hunted.
In addition
, farm animals that
were brought
by colonists could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the eggs and the nests, which were on the ground.
However
, the lecturer casts doubt on this argument by declaring that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
were capable of catching the flightless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, they never liked its tough and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-tasting meat.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
listening
further
elaborates that the dutch named it the disgusting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
in their native tongue owing to the aforementioned fact.

Secondly
, the professor indicates that
even though
newcomers tried to alter the land for agriculture by clearing up forests, this process did not affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
habitat since large portions of the island were
still
intact when the last dodo
was spotted
around the late seventeenth century. What's more, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
species were able to survive after the disappearance of the dodo.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
claim refutes the writer's implications of how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
devastated the natural habitat of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
by chopping down trees and depriving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
from its food supply.

Lastly
, according to the excerpt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, or the livestock they brought, might have transmitted a new disease to the area, which could have wiped out this specific creature,
especially
it's well-known that new species always wreak havoc on native ones.
Nevertheless
, the lecturer asserts that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bird
population was already declining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the arrival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Plus, nature could have played a major role in the loss of this species since cyclones and high winds
were known
to hit the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
island and
they could have demolished the eggs and the nests that were on the open ground.
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IELTS essay The reading passage and the lecture have conflicting opinions about whether or not the arrival of humans to the Mauritius island was the main cause behind the extinction of a flightless bird species.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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