Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The rate of crime among young people is rising in many countries because of the problem in the family.

The rate of crime among young people is rising in many countries because of the problem in the family. JKKw0
The number of crimes is increasing widely among teenagers. Most of them try to break the rules and commit crimes because of both internal and external factors. Therefore, this essay will present the main cause of the crime problem and the solution to deal with it. First of all, the principle that causes children to become offenders is the problem in the family. To clarify, several families have a quarrel and show their violence to the children. This action negatively impacts their children’s emotions. When teenagers are deep in pressure, they will express their pressure with aggressive behavior and might accidentally violate other people. Moreover, the financial problem is one of the significant causes of teenage crime. For example, a large number of children in low-income families have to struggle with starvation, so they have to steal other’s valuables and sell the drugs in order to gain more money. relevant to the drugs. Hence, they need to commit the offense to improve their finances. Turning to possible solutions, parents should reduce their quarrel in front of their children, and pay attention to their children. It is undeniable that numerous teenage offenders imitate aggressive and inappropriate behavior from their parents. Hence, adults should not only educate their youth, but also behave appropriately. Furthermore, the government should be involved in solving this problem. They have to assist children with their education by establishing a program which provides beneficial information about the illegal action and destructive outcome in order to instruct and stimulate the awareness of children. In conclusion, family and poverty are the major causes of youth to commit crime. These problems can be solved when their parents give more attention and right information to the young people.
The number of
crimes
is increasing
widely
among
teenagers
. Most of them try to break the
rules
and commit
crimes
because
of both internal and external factors.
Therefore
, this essay will present the main
cause
of the
crime
problem
and the solution to deal with it.

First of all
, the principle that
causes
children
to become offenders is the
problem
in the
family
. To clarify, several
families
have a quarrel and
show
their violence to the
children
. This action
negatively
impacts their
children’s
emotions. When
teenagers
are deep in pressure, they will express their pressure with aggressive behavior and might
accidentally
violate other
people
.
Moreover
, the financial
problem
is one of the significant
causes
of teenage
crime
.
For example
,
a large number of
children
in low-income
families
have to
struggle with starvation,
so
they
have to
steal other’s valuables and sell the drugs in order to gain more money.
relevant
to the drugs.
Hence
, they need to commit the offense to
improve
their finances.

Turning to possible solutions, parents should
reduce
their quarrel in front of their
children
, and pay attention to their
children
. It is undeniable that numerous teenage offenders imitate aggressive and inappropriate behavior from their parents.
Hence
, adults should not
only
educate their youth,
but
also
behave
appropriately
.
Furthermore
, the
government
should
be involved
in solving this
problem
. They
have to
assist
children
with their education by establishing a program which provides beneficial information about the illegal action and destructive outcome in order to instruct and stimulate the awareness of children.

In conclusion
,
family
and poverty are the major
causes
of youth to commit
crime
. These
problems
can
be solved
when their parents give more attention and right information to the young
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The rate of crime among young people is rising in many countries because of the problem in the family.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts