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The purpose of television should be all educational, not entertaining.

The purpose of television should be all educational, not entertaining. G3l2Q
The invention of television changed many things in people’s lives and over the years people created different TV programs for entertainment and other purposes, for example, informing news. Nowadays, television programs are very popular between different age groups. There are TV sets in most households in different countries and there are a variety of TV programs. There are news programs, TV shows, movies, sports and a number of other TV programs that are an important part of people’s lives. In my opinion, it is not vital for television programs to be all educative and there are a number of reasons holding my opinion. First, I think that television should be entertaining too, because people sometimes want to relax watching TV programs for entertainment, not always educational programs. For example, after a long, hard day, coming from work or school you can take some sweets and watch comedies to alleviate your tiredness. Second, television is not the best way to convey knowledge. In order to be well educated, we should search for information in books which are more detailed and organized. There are other forms of education and educational programs, but all television does not need to educate. The majority of people watch television to escape for an hour. As a result of this television should exist to entertain. Last but not least, there are people that are not interested in educational TV programs, so if the purpose of television is all educational, they will lose a large number of audience and their profit will start to decrease. For example, there are channels that only show educational programs such as about science, technology and the majority of people are not interested in that so they will lose too many views. In conclusion, I believe that the main purpose of television should be entertaining but not educational. All of these make me think that television is not an effective way of education.
The invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in
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people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and over the years
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people
created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
for entertainment and other purposes,
for example
, informing news. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups. There are TV sets in most households in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and there are a variety of TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. There are news
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programs
, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, movies, sports and a number of other TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion, it is not vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
to be all educative and there are a number of reasons holding my opinion.

First
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
should be entertaining too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
want to relax watching TV
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programs
for entertainment, not always
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educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
For example
, after a long,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day, coming from work or school you can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sweets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
comedies to alleviate your tiredness.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is not the best way to convey knowledge. In order to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
, we should search for information in books which are more detailed and organized. There are other forms of education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
does not need to educate. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to escape for an hour.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of this
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television
should exist to entertain.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
not interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if the purpose of
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television
is all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
, they will lose
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
audience and their profit will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to decrease.
For example
, there are channels that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as about science, technology and the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not interested in that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will lose too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
views.

In conclusion
, I believe that the main purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
should be entertaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
. All of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is not an effective way of education.
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IELTS essay The purpose of television should be all educational, not entertaining.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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