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The proposition that some people work for the same company all their working life while others prefer to work for a different organisation

The proposition that some people work for the same company all their working life while others prefer to work for a different organisation RNw0Q
The proposition that some people work for the same company all their working life while others prefer to work for a different organisation has attracted some debate in recent years. Job holders make decisions for a myriad of reasons. What are the factors that affect an applicant’s choice in selecting to stay or leave a company for another? First, employees consider the structure and culture of the organization they work for. To stress, career progression is vital and the level at which this is incorporated at the workplace determines how long or short a person stays. However, some workers may not consider it as a core reason to move. For example, Smith started his professional journey in a bank as a Sales Representative and rises to a Regional Manager after judiciously working for Ten years. Furthermore, workers decide whether to leave or not based on the company’s policy. Does this support work-life balance or not? If yes, a workman who loves spending quality time with family would rather stay but if otherwise might leave for another workplace. Other examples are pension and gratuity, Health and safety procedure and so on. Alternatively, an employee who considers working for different companies would think it helps his career growth and development rather than staying in one place for long. For instance, asides from the higher pay, such a person will have the opportunity to work with a diverse team. In addition, the Manager’s attitude towards subordinates determines whether a worker will stay or not. To illustrate, a person who is harassed or victimized might want to search for better opportunities elsewhere. Consequently, another factor is how employees are motivated either intrinsic or extrinsic. Finally, I believe people who work for different organizations have more wealth of experience, become better teammates, the ability to further obtain greater chances of searching for exciting vacancies in their profession. Nevertheless, the organisation differs and what a person leaves might affirm why another stays. In conclusion, employees and employers have contrasting needs and want. This affects how a company is run which might either make workers stay or move on. For some, a longer service is most appreciated while others do not fully support succession.
The proposition that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
all their working life while others prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
has attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
debate in recent years. Job holders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions for a myriad of reasons. What are the factors that affect an applicant’s choice in selecting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for another?

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
consider the structure and culture of the
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, career progression is vital and the level at which this
is incorporated
at the workplace determines how long or short a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stays
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
may not consider it as a core reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.
For example
, Smith
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his professional journey in a bank as a Sales Representative and rises to a Regional Manager after
judiciously
working for Ten years.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
decide whether to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
or not based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
policy. Does this support work-life balance or not? If yes, a workman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
spending quality time with family would
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
for another workplace. Other examples are pension and gratuity, Health and safety procedure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Alternatively
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
considers working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
his career growth and development
rather
than staying in one place for long.
For instance
, asides from the higher pay, such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with a diverse team.

In addition
, the Manager’s attitude towards subordinates determines whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
or not. To illustrate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is harassed
or victimized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
want to search for better opportunities elsewhere.
Consequently
, another factor is how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are motivated
either intrinsic or extrinsic.

Finally
, I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
have more wealth of experience, become better teammates, the ability to
further
obtain greater chances of searching for exciting vacancies in their profession.
Nevertheless
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
differs and what a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
affirm why another stays.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and employers have contrasting needs and want. This affects how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is run
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, a longer service is most appreciated while others do not
fully
support succession.
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IELTS essay The proposition that some people work for the same company all their working life while others prefer to work for a different organisation

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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