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The proportion of early people in some societies is increasing rapidly. Will the positive effect on Society of this trend outweigh any negative impact.

The proportion of early people in some societies is increasing rapidly. Will the positive effect on Society of this trend outweigh any negative impact. Dkyo
There is no iota of doubt that senior citizens play a vital role in our society and with the advancement of medicine and science people are enjoying their life longer for last few decades. This phenomenon is offering multifarious benefits to people, however sometime a couple of problem emerge due to some. The following paragraph would shed light on pros and cons of older people living in large portion of society. To begin with the first notion that, if elderly people living in society it has helpful impact. Firstly, retire person have huge knowledge about work, as well they give education for their culture to young one. They are motivational inspiration of family in their different situation because they had faced some situation in their time. Consequently, they know how to manage that time. Secondly, some youngsters follow foot path of their elders due to the fact that they get more success with the guidance of their older. Moreover, some youngster of family are busy outside in their work and they cannot spend time with their kids, so at that time grandparents can be good inspiration of those kids and they can help them to raise in a family environment rather than day care centre. On the flip side of coins, there are some nasty consequence as well. If senior citizens do their jobs and they considered burden on society especially on that portion which is extremely poor. As a result, in that areas youngers one become an employed due to the fact that the older people have hold their seats. Secondly, young people have new ideas and innovation which is more fruitful rather than senior experience. For instance, aged person know about some things but they do not know about their new usage method or skills. Consequently, a youngster have well good on that machines because the use that appliances with the new method. In conclusion, it is true that senior people in society has become beneficial effect but there are some negative consequences due to that, younger one cannot get those jobs, that they required or deserve. Asa result, unemployment has increased.
There is no iota of doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens play a vital role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and with the advancement of medicine and science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enjoying their life longer for last few decades. This phenomenon is offering multifarious benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
sometime
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "a couple of problems".
a couple of problem
emerge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. The following paragraph would shed light on pros and cons of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in large portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
first
notion that, if elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
it has helpful impact.
Firstly
, retire person have huge knowledge about work,
as well
they give education for their culture to young one. They are motivational inspiration of family in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situation in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Consequently
, they know how to manage that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters follow foot path of their elders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more success with the guidance of their older.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngster of family are busy outside in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they cannot spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their kids,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
grandparents can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
inspiration of those
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kids and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to raise in a family environment
rather
than day care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. On the flip side of coins, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nasty consequence
as well
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens do their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jobs and
they considered burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
especially
on that portion which is
extremely
poor.
As a result
, in that areas
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
one become an employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have hold their seats.
Secondly
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and innovation which is more fruitful
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
experience.
For instance
, aged person know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not know about their new usage method or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Consequently
, a youngster have well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
on that machines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that appliances with the new method.
In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has become beneficial effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to that, younger one cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
those jobs, that they required or deserve.
The genitive is possibly missing.
Asa result
, unemployment has increased.
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IELTS essay The proportion of early people in some societies is increasing rapidly. Will the positive effect on Society of this trend outweigh any negative impact.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
354 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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