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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree LrG8G
Health problems and illness prevention is more important than treatment and medicine. Government financial support should be more on preventing health problems and illness rather than managing health problems. Health problems and illness can be as a result of lack of information about health issue, proximity to health facilities, ignorance, financial constraints and lots more. Health problems and illness could result from lack of information. When an individual is unaware of signs and symptoms of disease, causative organisms causing disease, incubation period of organisms causing disease, the necessary preventive measures to put in place like personal hygiene and environmental hygiene. Proper health education and sensitization about health matters with adequate information education and communication materials should be made available to people including people living in the rural and hard to reach areas. Government should also situate health facilities centrally so that people can assess health care early and promptly as soon as they notice any symptoms or signs of disease or for routine body check before their health deteriorate. The health facilities should comprise of all cadres of health workers, equipments and hospital consumables and must be made available and accessible for people's health. If the government focus on the preventive aspect of health it will reduce cost incurs on drugs and treatment. It will also improve productivity rate because every individual is able to access health care services promptly as soon as they discover any deviation from normal in their well-being and health status.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
prevention is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than treatment and medicine.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
financial support should be more on preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
rather
than managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
can be
as a result
of lack of information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issue, proximity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities, ignorance, financial constraints and lots more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
could result from lack of information. When an individual is unaware of signs and symptoms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, causative organisms causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, incubation period of organisms causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, the necessary preventive measures to put in place like personal hygiene and environmental hygiene. Proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education and sensitization about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
matters with adequate information education and communication materials should
be made
available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the rural and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to reach areas.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
situate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities
centrally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can assess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care early and
promptly
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they notice any symptoms or signs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
or for routine body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
deteriorate. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities should
Did you mean "comprise" or "consist of"?
comprise of
all cadres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
workers, equipments and hospital consumables and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
available and accessible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
focus on the preventive aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost incurs on drugs and treatment. It will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
productivity rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every individual is able to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care services
promptly
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they discover any deviation from normal in their well-being and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status.
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IELTS essay The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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