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The practice of illegal hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries particularly in developing countries. What are the causes of hunting? And what are the effects on the wider human society in these countries and beyond.

The practice of illegal hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries particularly in developing countries. What are the causes of hunting? And what are the effects on the wider human society in these countries and beyond. 22wk
Wildlife crime is the fourth largest illegal occupation in the world. Where, poaching and smuggling are the threatening issues to rise concern mainly in developing nations. Myriad causes could be attributed to this which include to earn money and food purposes. In this essay, I shall fortify these above mentioned causes and their resultant effects on society with necessary illustrations and logical arguments before citing my feasible conclusion. The first and perhaps the most important reason seems to be that the poachers kill the wild animals for their own greediness of money. By this I mean that killers make, poaching and smuggling, a way of earning. They kill the animals and sell their different body parts such as; skin, teeth, bones and so on and, in return poachers earn enoromous amount of money. For example, the central India is a part where wildlife crime and poaching are taken place because of the demand for tiger parts in china and are sold for the use in traditional chinese medicine. The second reason appears to be for food purposes. This means that the most non-vegans rely on meat of animals as consumption of meat brings many health benefits derived from their parts. Moreover, it is extremely rich in mineral, full of vitamins and high in protein. For instance, bushmeat is sold in trendy restaurants and specialized markets in many of the world's largest cities- including cities in the US, where an estimated 15, 000 pounds of bushmeat is illegally imported and sold each year. Turning to the effects because of these aforementioned causes seem to be myriad. The first and foremost impact tend to be the extinction of species. To illustrate it further overkilling of particular wild species may be the cause of verge of extinction. Whereas, they are also an important part of food chain. A single species extinction disrupts whole food chain because they are depended on each other and simultaneously it will bring issues for the society because many animals are used for not only wealth but also for maintaining a healthy ecological balance on earth. The second impact could be attributed to this is the spread of food borne illnesses by eating food contaminated with bacteria, viruses, and so on. And people suffer from various diseases such as; heart disease, cancer, diabetes and many more. In conclusion from what has been discussed above are the paramount causes and their effects.
Wildlife crime is the fourth largest illegal occupation in the world. Where, poaching and smuggling are the threatening issues to rise concern
mainly
in developing nations. Myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
could
be attributed
to this which include to earn money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
purposes. In this essay, I shall fortify these above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and their resultant effects on society with necessary illustrations and logical arguments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
citing my feasible conclusion.

The
first
and perhaps the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason seems to be that the poachers kill the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
greediness of money. By this I mean that killers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
, poaching and smuggling, a way of earning. They kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and sell their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
such as; skin, teeth, bones and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on and, in return poachers earn
Possible spelling mistake found.
enoromous
amount of money.
For example
, the central India is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
where wildlife crime and poaching
are taken
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the demand for tiger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
and
are sold
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in traditional
Possible spelling mistake found.
chinese
medicine.

The second reason appears to be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
purposes. This means that the most non-vegans rely on meat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as consumption of meat brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health benefits derived from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
.
Moreover
, it is
extremely
rich in mineral, full of vitamins and high in protein.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
bushmeat
is sold
in trendy restaurants and specialized markets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the world's largest cities- including cities in the US, where an estimated 15, 000 pounds of
Possible spelling mistake found.
bushmeat
is
illegally
imported and sold each year.

Turning to the effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
seem to be myriad. The
first
and foremost impact tend to be the extinction of species. To illustrate it
further
Possible spelling mistake found.
overkilling
of particular wild species may be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of verge of extinction.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, they are
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain. A single species extinction disrupts whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are depended
on each other and
simultaneously
it will bring issues for the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for maintaining a healthy ecological balance on earth. The second impact could
be attributed
to this is the spread of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
borne illnesses by eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contaminated with bacteria, viruses, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from various diseases such as; heart disease, cancer, diabetes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

In conclusion
from what has
been discussed
above are the paramount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and their effects.
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IELTS essay The practice of illegal hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries particularly in developing countries. What are the causes of hunting? And what are the effects on the wider human society in these countries and beyond.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
402 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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