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the positive results of the chance that is give to children to decide on their own overweights the time that parents take too much care of their children.

the positive results of the chance that is give to children to decide on their own overweights the time that parents take too much care of their children. G9yAo
parents take too much care of their children thus when turning into an adult children have more knowledge on dealing with social problems on the other hand as children are given change to decide on their own they will be more independant. this essay is going to focus on the experiences that children get from parents and the time that they know how to overcome difficulties with no help. As the social life of children is developing they encounter more social problems with their bosom friends that they need experience to handle them. (topic sentence) although being a part social community is an inevitable case not all problems can be solved as there is no enough experienced grossed parents are older and more experienced that they can easily guide their children to develop long-lasting friendships. children can ameliorate their friendships by learning new things from their parents. Being an adult I remember how harder it would be for me to establish friendships without the assist of my parents. As financial crisis is developing, without a help adult-who were once children-must be able to handle their financial probmels. handling difficulties in life origins from the hard times that a person encounters as a young individual since being a child a person is more tolerant and has more chance to risk thus they know the right way to solve money problems. Being able to come up with the best solution, my mother has learnt how to overcome difficulties related to money as she was always the leader of her own life. to recap as a child an individual has a fresh mind to consider different aspect of taking risks for finding the best solution by themselves and besides the experience of parents they have more chance to have better time with their friends.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
parents
take too much care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
thus
when turning into an adult
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "child"?
children
have more knowledge on dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
on the other hand
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to decide on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
they will be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
independant
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay is going to focus on the experiences that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the time that they know how to overcome difficulties with no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is developing they encounter more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with their bosom friends that they need experience to handle them. (topic sentence) although being a part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
community is an inevitable case not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be solved
as there is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Make sure that the adjective 'experienced' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'grossed'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
experienced grossed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are older and more experienced that they can
easily
guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop long-lasting friendships.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
can ameliorate their friendships by learning new things from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Being an adult I remember how harder it would be for me to establish friendships without the assist of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. As financial crisis is developing, without a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
adult-who were once children-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be able to handle their financial
Possible spelling mistake found.
probmels
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
handling
difficulties in life origins from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
times that a person encounters as a young individual since being a child a person is more tolerant and has more chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
thus
they know the right way to solve money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the best solution, my mother has
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to overcome difficulties related to money as she was always the leader of her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
recap as a child an individual has a fresh mind to consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspect of taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for finding the best solution by themselves and
besides
the experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they have more chance to have better time with their friends.
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IELTS essay the positive results of the chance that is give to children to decide on their own overweights the time that parents take too much care of their children.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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