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The picture gives information about chocolate production

The picture gives information about chocolate production yx9YE
The supplied pictorial gives data on how chocolate is produced. Looking from an overall perspective, it is apparent that it has ten stages beginning from collecting and ending with pressing with special apparatus. More specifically, the cacao tree is grown in South America, Africa, and Indonesia for its ripe red pods and from this plant, the chocolate is prepared. In the first stage, harvested pods are sent to get white cocoa beans. Therefore, the collected beans are fermented in a special container. After which the fermented beans are spread in the sun to dry them thoroughly. Accordingly, the dried beans are put in large sacks with people's labor and sent to the factory via lorry or train. Furthermore, the received beans are roasted at 350 Celsius. Thus, beans are crushed and their outer shell is peeled. Ultimately, the machine presses the inner part and liquid chocolate is produced and this is the end-product.
The supplied pictorial gives data on how chocolate
is produced
.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is apparent that it has ten stages beginning from collecting and ending with pressing with special apparatus.

More
specifically
, the cacao tree
is grown
in South America, Africa, and Indonesia for its ripe red pods and from this plant, the chocolate
is prepared
. In the
first
stage, harvested pods are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
white cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
.
Therefore
, the collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are fermented
in a special container.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
which the fermented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are spread
in the sun to dry them
thoroughly
.
Accordingly
, the dried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are put
in large sacks with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's labor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the factory via lorry or train.

Furthermore
, the received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are roasted
at 350 Celsius.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are crushed
and their outer shell
is peeled
.
Ultimately
, the machine presses the inner part and liquid chocolate
is produced
and this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-product.
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IELTS essay The picture gives information about chocolate production

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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