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The perspective is divide into a several of situation which is smarter to find an abhorred line of

The perspective is divide into a several of situation which is smarter to find an abhorred line of WnXlk
The perspective is divide into a several of situation which is smarter to find an abhorred line of work for a significant salary or take an amazing line of work for a low payment. While somebody upholds the last thought, I actually remain with the primary thought which is taking a severely disliked occupation for a significant pay in light of two reasons To begin with, there are many reason to explain why I inclined to choose a high income job. First of all, money is playing a crucial role in human lives. That’s is true if we say everything in the world comes from money such as food, clothes, devices. Furthermore, individuals need money to increase their life condition like upgrading their house as well as buying luxury items. As a matter of fact, employees who having low revenue are not able to longer pay their monthly bills which possibly leads to many obstacles in their life. As a consequence, they need to have more than one left-hand job to make a living. To sum up, money is the most significant key in our life. Additionally, people usually saying that ‘the more money you have, the more opportunities open up for you’. There are some reality evidences for this saying. Money is a prerequisite to begin with your dream career, without money you cannot make startup that you want. I take my brother as a typical example, my brother used to be a game designer student at Can Tho university. However, despite the fact that he graduated this major, my sibling decided to be a shoe dealer which he has no bliss on doing it. On the other hand, this work presented to him truckload of cash. Hence, after a long period of working hard, he decided to drop out this position and create a small company about game creating to follow his childhood dream. As a result, because of an attractive income, it is a factor in motivate workers to labor to address their issue. In contrast, there are some counterargument said that there is something that not require money to have it, for example love or something comes from emotion. Some recent survey demonstrating that citizens depending too much on money. This thing leads to the Z generation gradually ignore some of the memories that money cannot bring for you. I totally agree with this statement but I believe that money is a catalyst leads to boost your emotion on higher levels. Likewise, Indigenous people believe that doing the job that you love inherently and persistence this work you still have a lot of chance to thriving your career get great fee like someone choosing different path. However, it’s oblige you to take a long period of time and you must to work hard every single day to reach this position. Hence looking for other option not only bring about high revenue for you to adapt higher criteria but also you can drop out and move in another job comfortably. In conclusion, although working uninspiring job to get an alluring revenue could have some drawbacks, it is an undeniable fact that we will be surprise about a numerous benefit of it. Apparently, in the modern world, we need to know how important of the money is, and how money run the world.
The perspective is divide into a several of situation which is smarter to find an abhorred line of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a significant salary or take an amazing line of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a low payment. While somebody upholds the last
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, I actually remain with the primary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
which is taking a
severely
disliked occupation for a significant pay in light of two
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reasons


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I inclined to choose a high income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is playing a crucial role in human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Did you mean "That is"?
That’s is
true if we say everything in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
such as food, clothes, devices.
Furthermore
, individuals need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to increase their life condition like upgrading their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as well
as buying luxury items. As a matter of fact, employees who having low revenue are not able to longer pay their monthly bills which
possibly
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles in their life. As a consequence, they need to have more than one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the most significant key in our life.

Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
saying that ‘the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
you have, the more opportunities open up for you’. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reality evidences for this saying.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is a prerequisite to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with your dream career, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
startup that you want. I take my brother as a typical example, my brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a game designer student at Can Tho university.
However
, despite the fact that he graduated this major, my sibling decided to be a shoe dealer which he has no bliss on doing it.
On the other hand
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
presented to him truckload of cash.
Hence
, after a long period of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, he decided to drop out this position and create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
about game creating to follow his childhood dream.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an attractive income, it is a factor in motivate workers to labor to address their issue.

In contrast
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "counterarguments"?
counterargument
said that there is something that not require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to have it,
for example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
or something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from emotion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
recent survey demonstrating that citizens depending too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This thing leads to the Z generation
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
memories that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot bring for you. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a catalyst leads to boost your emotion on higher levels.
Likewise
, Indigenous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
inherently
and persistence this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
you
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
chance to thriving your career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
great fee like someone
With the word 'someone' in a subjunctive clause, use the base form of a verb: "choose".
choosing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
path.
However
, it’s oblige you to take a long period of time and you
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
every single day to reach this position.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
looking for other option not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring about high revenue for you to adapt higher criteria
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
you can drop out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
comfortably
.

In conclusion
, although working uninspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an alluring revenue could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, it is an undeniable fact that we will be surprise about a numerous benefit of it.
Apparently
, in the modern world, we need to know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is, and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
run the world.
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IELTS essay The perspective is divide into a several of situation which is smarter to find an abhorred line of

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
555 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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