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The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

With the improvement of technology, harnessing the internet is inevitable. This phenomenon at present, might bring about some demerits; however, tangible benefits are clearly worth to keep abreast of the internet. In regard to be given the opportunity of using internet services, providing some personal information is necessary. This, sometimes create the public concerns in terms of safety. Scarcely had hackers been able to break into personal information and consequently to cyberbullying, by which individual’s safety can be threatened. It might be said that, these companies have boosted their security system with the help of genius technicians and leading-edge technologies which would decrease the rate of cybercrimes. The other point that might seem a disadvantage to users, can be obligation to comply with their policies, while signing in. Although, this would trigger a huge responsibility for people who reluctantly accept them, these regulations have clearly been imposed for the users’ privacy. Apart from the former trivial issues, having easy access to personal accounts would be time-efficient. It is conceivable that doing correspondence with the internet, is way faster than paper-based ones. Thus, holding the personal information such as passwords or email addresses by the internet organisations, would definitely save a great deal of time through eliminating repetitive process of filling the information. More importantly, when some of private data are forgotten, having a backup, this companies are able to send the required information for the owner of the account by sending an email or text messages after validation process. Obviously, this is a valuable service provided by them. To conclude, far-fetched disadvantages of holding private information by internet companies, would not be concerning to neglect the merits.
With the improvement of technology, harnessing the internet is inevitable. This phenomenon at present, might bring about
some
demerits;
however
, tangible benefits are
clearly
worth to
keep
abreast of the internet.

In regard to be
given
the opportunity of using internet services, providing
some
personal
information
is necessary. This,
sometimes
create the public concerns in terms of safety.
Scarcely
had hackers been able to break into
personal
information
and
consequently
to cyberbullying, by which individual’s safety can
be threatened
. It might
be said
that, these
companies
have boosted their security system with the
help
of genius technicians and leading-edge technologies which would decrease the rate of
cybercrimes
. The other point that might seem a disadvantage to users, can be obligation to comply with their policies, while signing in. Although, this would trigger a huge responsibility for
people
who
reluctantly
accept them, these regulations have
clearly
been imposed
for the users’ privacy.

Apart from the former trivial issues, having easy access to
personal
accounts would be time-efficient. It is conceivable that doing correspondence with the internet, is way faster than paper-based ones.
Thus
, holding the
personal
information
such as passwords or email addresses by the internet
organisations
, would definitely save a great deal of time through eliminating repetitive process of filling the
information
. More
importantly
, when
some
of private data
are forgotten
, having a backup,
this
companies
are able to
send
the required
information
for the owner of the account by sending an email or text messages

after validation process.
Obviously
, this is a valuable service provided by them.

To conclude
, far-fetched disadvantages of holding private
information
by internet
companies
, would not be concerning to neglect the merits.
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IELTS essay The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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