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The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations.

The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. QEV9

Many large internet companies such as Facebook, Google and Twitter has an access to the personal information of figures. Due to this situation users of this internet companies are worried since their data can spread in the internet. From my point of view advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages. Users assume that large companies assemble their data to improve the service. Firstly, it applies to the advertising. The corporations track behaves of the users and they can easily tune their searches or marketing on the internet. As a result, people can see the ad about the restaurant and music which they prefer more. Moreover, medicine apps can analyze the health of the patients and they are able to ensure the precision of the medicine procedures by updating information. Doctors can make changes and leave comments into medical records of the patients. Besides, there are other applications such as sport instructor, financial and diet advisors which provides their services by recent actions of users to satisfy users’ needs. On the other hand, personal information of individuals can be overused by internet companies. Intruders and fraudsters are able to get access and deceive users. Hacker hacks into the sites thereby it causes leak of information and hackers can steal user’s identity. They can search out vulnerable groups spread the fake news and information thus to influence people. However, users provided their own information for malicious and unprotected Web sites. In conclusion, the marginal drawbacks of access to personal information by internet companies do not outweigh benefits since it has many advantages for people.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
Many
 large internet You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
companies
 such as Facebook, Google and Twitter has Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".access
an access
 to the personal You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 of figures. Due to this situation You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcustomerbuyershopperpurchaser
users
 of this internet You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
companies
are worried
 since their data can spread The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".on the internet
in the internet
. From my point of view advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages.

Users assume that large You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
companies
 assemble their data to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improve
 the service. Firstly
, it This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :is applicable to
applies to
 the advertising. The corporations This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :monitor
track
 behaves of the Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).users, and
users and
 they can easily
 tune their searches or marketing on the internet. As a result
, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witness
see
 the ad about the restaurant and music which they prefer more. Moreover
, medicine apps can analyze the health of the Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).patients, and
patients and
 they are able to ensure the precision of the medicine procedures by updating You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
. Doctors can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :altersadjusts
changes
 and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :depart
leave
 comments into medical records of the patients. Besides
, there are other applications such as sport instructor, financial and diet advisors which provides their services by recent actions of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcustomerbuyershopperpurchaser
users
 to satisfy You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcustomerbuyershopperpurchaser
users’
 needs.

On the other hand
, personal You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 of individuals can be overused
 by internet You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
companies
. Intruders and fraudsters are able to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 access and deceive You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcustomerbuyershopperpurchaser
users
. Hacker hacks into the sites thereby it causes leak of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 and hackers can steal You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcustomerbuyershopperpurchaser
user’s
 identity. They can search out vulnerable groups spread the fake news and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
thus
 to influence This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
. However
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcustomerbuyershopperpurchaser
users
 provided their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 for malicious and unprotected Did you mean "Websites"?Websites
Web sites
.

In conclusion
, the marginal drawbacks of access to personal You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinstructionwordknowledgeintelligenceadvicematerial
information
 by internet You use this word too often, consider replacing it withgroupclubcommunityteampartyassociation
companies
 do not outweigh benefits since it has This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 advantages for This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
. 