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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. RNkyQ
The number of overweight children who live in western countries has seen an increase at nearly 20% within the last decade. This essay will discuss the possible reasons and consequences of this situation. Initially, human beings have had a consumption culture for the last years. We raise animals by using hormones, medicines, etc. and we eat not being organic material such as margarines. Moreover, we have changed animals and plants genetic materials. It is not suprising that our bodies's reaction for all this. Beacuse, bodies do not recognize them and do not know how to deal with them. Collected in animals fat tissue, medicines, toxines and hormones transfer to our bodies by eating animals. Then, this chemicals impair the function of body. I belive that one of leading cause of being overweight is these. For example, If a boy who always eat this kind of animals meat consume hormones at the same time, he will be overweight. Because this hormones' chemical structure are similar to ours. Thus, they probably affect us the similar way. As for consequences, I think this problem may end up with the extinction of the human race. Because, our new generations are becoming less healthy day by day. Diseases an disorders are seeing an increadible increase nowadays. Being overweight is bring many health problems along with itself such as cardiovascular problems. For instance, I know somebody owerweighted and he does not function as a healhty person. He does not work for long hours, He can not manage stress. He does not walk. In conclusion, being overweight is a serious problem nowadays and this problem can be significantly dangerous for human race.
The number of
overweight
children who
live
in western countries has
seen
an increase at
nearly
20% within the last decade. This essay will discuss the possible reasons and consequences of this situation.

Initially
, human beings have had a consumption culture for the last years. We raise
animals
by using hormones, medicines, etc. and we eat not being organic material such as
margarines
.
Moreover
, we have
changed
animals
and plants genetic materials. It is not
suprising
that our
bodies's
reaction for all this.
Beacuse
, bodies do not recognize them and do not know how to deal with them. Collected in
animals
fat
tissue, medicines,
toxines
and hormones transfer to our bodies by eating
animals
. Then,
this
chemicals impair the function of body.
I belive
that one of leading cause of being
overweight
is these.
For example
, If a boy who always eat this kind of
animals
meat consume hormones at the same time, he will be
overweight
.
Because
this
hormones' chemical structure are similar to ours.
Thus
, they
probably
affect us the similar way.

As for consequences, I
think
this
problem
may
end
up with the extinction of the human race.
Because
, our new generations are becoming less healthy day by day. Diseases
an disorders
are seeing an
increadible
increase nowadays. Being
overweight
is bring
many
health
problems
along with itself such as cardiovascular
problems
.
For instance
, I know somebody
owerweighted and
he does not function as a
healhty
person. He does not work for long hours, He can not manage
stress
. He does not walk.

In conclusion
, being
overweight
is a serious
problem
nowadays and this
problem
can be
significantly
dangerous
for human race.
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IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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