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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. OVg17
Obesity is increasing over a few decades now, in western countries. Even with many warnings from specialists in the health and nutrition domain, we are unable to curb it. I would like to go over potential reasons and their consequences over the next few paragraphs and discuss how it's all dependent on or lifestyle and why it's important to pay attention to it. What is obesity? It is the excessive mass that a person gains, as opposed to what one's body mass index should be. Which is calculated and based on the average height, age, gender and sometimes origins of the person. One of the main causes of excessive weight gain is junk food. Starting in the early 19th century in western cultures, fast food such as grab and go burgers, fries and coke at a very low cost became an easy and affordable way for the working class to have their meals. The franchises which provided such kind of food are widely spread and are open round the clock, even today. However, these kinds of dishes would have very high calorific value, causing weight gain more than what one's BMI should be. Another important cause of the overweight pattern in the western world is the dormant lifestyle. Not everyone is an athlete or a sportsperson to have a rigorous exercise regime, but people should have some form of regular physical activity to maintain a healthy lifestyle and to maintain expected weight. Despite knowing it, most people won't pay attention to fitness. Be it because of hectic work schedules or just because of laziness, an average human is undermining the long term side effects of such lethargic yet stressful life. In addition to this, the change in the way we play games and have fun exacerbated the issue. While the previous generation looked out of playgrounds and picnic spots for sports and entertainment, millennial's ended up being couch potatoes: playing online games and binge-watching Netflix shows. Every action would have a reaction. Even increasing average weights among masses had and continued to have serious repercussions. Blood pressure fluctuations, increased bad cholesterol levels, diabetes, heart attacks are a few ailments that stand on the top of the list. The more recent trend is liposuction; the fast and easy way to reduce weight and look in good shape. It's pathetic to see today's youth being ready to have surgery to cut out the fat from their body rather than make responsible lifestyle choices and changes. If this continues, chances are good that the average lifespan of people would come down in the next few centuries or decades. In conclusion, having an unhealthy diet and a lazy lifestyle are the major causes of the overweight trend in western countries. And if careful thought to our eating and work out choices isn't given, the problem would only amplify.
Obesity is increasing over a few decades
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, in western countries. Even with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
warnings from specialists in the health and nutrition domain, we are unable to curb it. I would like to go over potential reasons and their
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "over". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences over
the
next
few paragraphs and discuss how it's all dependent on or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and why it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to pay attention to it.

What is obesity? It is the excessive mass that a person gains, as opposed to what one's body mass index should be. Which
is calculated
and based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
height, age, gender and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
origins of the person. One of the main causes of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
gain is junk food. Starting in the early 19th century in western cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food such as grab and go burgers, fries and coke at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low cost became an easy and affordable way for the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to have their meals. The franchises which provided such kind of food are
widely
spread and are open round the clock, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
However
, these kinds of dishes would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high calorific value, causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
gain more than what one's BMI should be.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause of the overweight pattern in the western world is the dormant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Not everyone is an athlete or a sportsperson to have a rigorous exercise regime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of regular physical activity to maintain a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
. Despite knowing it, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
won't pay attention to fitness. Be it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hectic work schedules or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of laziness, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
human is undermining the long term side effects of such lethargic
yet
stressful life.
In addition
to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the way we play games and have fun exacerbated the issue. While the previous generation looked out of playgrounds and picnic spots for sports and entertainment, millennial's ended up being couch potatoes: playing online games and binge-watching Netflix
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.

Every action would have a reaction. Even increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weights
among masses had and continued to have serious repercussions. Blood pressure fluctuations, increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
cholesterol levels, diabetes, heart attacks are a few ailments that stand on the top of the list. The more recent trend is liposuction; the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and easy way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and look in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape. It's pathetic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's youth being ready to have surgery to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
out the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
from their body
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
choices and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. If this continues, chances are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
lifespan of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
down in the
next
few centuries or decades.

In conclusion
, having an unhealthy diet and a lazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
are the major causes of the overweight trend in western countries. And if careful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to our eating and work out choices isn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, the problem would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
amplify.
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IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
474 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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