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the percentage of overweight children in most western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss reasons and effect of the tread.

Obesity has been severe problem around the world. around 20 % of childrens are suffering from this issue in all essay will disscus causes and consequences of this matter. There are many reason of over weight children in different country. The first and formost reason is that because of advance technology children can access any think from any were without having physical movement. Secondly, Instead of having physical sports exicese they spond a lot of time in watching T. v and playing P. C games. Thirdly Because unhealthy diet and busy schedule they prefer to choose ready made meal and junk food. This cause more amount of sugar and strach which increase fat in body. However, there are many side effect of this trend. To begin with, If childrens are over in sized, then they become house of diseases like cholesterol, diabetes, low sugar so on. Secondly, when they are in class they are teas By other student and sometimes are eliminated from groups also. Moreover, In some cases they find improper growth at body parts. In conclusion, Fatness has spred in my countreis by more then 19%. And There are many Important motives and many outcome of this issues.
Obesity has been severe problem around the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
around
20 % of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
are suffering from this issue in all
The plural determiner “all” expects a plural noun.
essay
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
disscus
causes and consequences of this matter. There are
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: “many reasons”.
many reason
of over weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country. The
first
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advance technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can access any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
from any were without having physical movement.
Secondly
,
Instead
of having physical sports
Possible spelling mistake found.
exicese
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
spond
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in watching T. v and playing P. C games.
Thirdly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
unhealthy diet and busy schedule they prefer to choose
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
ready made
meal and junk food. This cause more amount of sugar and
Possible spelling mistake found.
strach
which increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in body.
However
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun effect seems to be countable; consider using: “many side effects”.
many side effect
of this trend. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, If
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
are over in sized, then they become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of diseases like cholesterol, diabetes, low sugar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, when they are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
they are teas By other student and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
are eliminated
from groups
also
.
Moreover
, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases they find improper growth at body parts.
In conclusion
, Fatness has
Possible spelling mistake found.
spred
in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
countreis
by more
Comparison requires “than”, not ‘then’ nor ‘as’.
then
19%. And There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
motives and
Possible agreement error. The noun outcome seems to be countable; consider using: “many outcomes”.
many outcome
of
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘issues’. Did you mean “these”?
this
issues.
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IELTS essay the percentage of overweight children in most western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss reasons and effect of the tread.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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