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The percentage of outweigh children in Western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years

The percentage of outweigh children in Western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years 283A
We cannot deny the fact that, in these days more and more people are gaining extra mass especially in Western counties. There are a few Factors why most people have more mass. Also, there are some possible solutions One of the major factors is that many people nowadays have a tendency to consume junk foods as its taste. However they have not aware of how harmful it is their health. Firstly, eating more regularly fast foods brings some health issues since obesity. A number of restaurants which sell junk foods responsible for it. These types of restaurants are prone to sell tasty foods which contain fat and salt. As a repercussion most of people are highly likely to have fast foods in order to save their time. At the end, they are expected to come across such health disease like obesity and overweight. The most effective solution would be making a legislation to sell junk foods and higher taxes indeed, in an afford to less attract youngsters selling junk foods. Additionally, encouraging youth to fulfill sports and doing physical exercises regularly would be adequate solutions. Also parents have a huge obligations to push youngsters carrying out sport activities. As a result, they may avoid some both health and mental issues. In conclusion, factors like poor diet and sedentary lifestyles due to fast paced lifestyles led to an increase in overweight children. Fortunately, However, there are a plethora of possible solutions.
We cannot deny the fact that, in these days more and more
people
are gaining extra mass
especially
in Western counties. There are a few Factors why most
people
have more mass.
Also
, there are
some
possible solutions

One of the major factors is that
many
people
nowadays have a tendency to consume
junk
foods
as its taste.
However
they have not aware of how harmful it is their
health
.
Firstly
, eating more
regularly
fast
foods
brings
some
health
issues since obesity. A number of restaurants which sell
junk
foods
responsible for it. These types of restaurants are prone to sell tasty
foods
which contain
fat
and salt.
As
a repercussion most of
people
are
highly
likely to have
fast
foods
in order to save their time. At the
end
, they are
expected
to
come
across such
health
disease like obesity and overweight.

The most effective solution would be making a legislation to sell
junk
foods
and higher taxes
indeed
, in
an afford
to less attract youngsters selling
junk
foods
.
Additionally
, encouraging youth to fulfill sports and doing physical exercises
regularly
would be adequate solutions.
Also
parents have a huge
obligations
to push youngsters carrying out sport activities.
As a result
, they may avoid
some
both
health
and mental issues.

In conclusion
, factors like poor diet and sedentary lifestyles due to
fast
paced lifestyles led to an increase in overweight children.
Fortunately
,
However
, there are a plethora of possible solutions.
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IELTS essay The percentage of outweigh children in Western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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