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The past few decades have witnessed an escalating rate of wrongdoings,

The past few decades have witnessed an escalating rate of wrongdoings, RRDNo
The past few decades have witnessed an escalating rate of wrongdoings, wreaking havoc on social stability and security. While a number of people opine that lengthened imprisonment is the greatest way to put a curb on offence, I firmly advocate that there are optimal alternatives to eliminate such an issue. On the one hand, there are sufficient grounds to laud lengthened imprisonment. Firstly, this not only reflects on their heinous actions but also helps them to receive sufficient rehabilitation through moral lessons and community services. In reality, incarceration can bring about transforming them into law-obedient citizens, thereby successfully re-integrating into the society. Secondly, people charged of felonies such as murder, drug trafficking and so on can have been isolated into society. Thus, the re-offender rate may be reduced and the society has become safer. Thirdly, prolonged incarceration results in acting as a deterrent to would-be offenders. Because if people commit a crime, they will be deprived of freedom for a period of time. Therefore, future offenders are likely to become hesitant when they have intended to break the law. On the other hand, it is my concrete belief that there are other superior measures to mitigate offence. Firstly, vocational schools should be erected by the government helping youngsters equip the basic jobs skills, thus they will have chance to get decent income. It can be explained that poverty is considered breeding grounds for heinous acts. Besides, if the proportion of the commission of a crime is minimized, which contributes to saving national budgets allocated for prison maintenance. Secondly, Ethics and Laws should become school curriculums, which helps students to observe the law so they can avoid performing illegal activities. For example, civic education subject has provided students the basic knowledge about laws, thereby helping them to have the consciousness of adhering to the law. In conclusion, it is my view that there are other appropriate measures not only to curb lawbreaker but also can contribute to social stability and prosperity.
The past few decades have witnessed an escalating rate of wrongdoings, wreaking havoc on social stability and security. While a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that lengthened imprisonment is the greatest way to put a curb on
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
, I
firmly
advocate that there are optimal alternatives to eliminate such an issue.

On the one hand, there are sufficient grounds to laud lengthened imprisonment.
Firstly
, this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reflects on their heinous actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to receive sufficient rehabilitation through moral lessons and community services. In reality, incarceration can bring about transforming them into law-obedient citizens, thereby
successfully
re-integrating into the society.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
charged of felonies such as murder, drug trafficking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on can have
been isolated
into society.
Thus
, the re-offender rate may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and the society has become safer.
Thirdly
, prolonged incarceration results in acting as a deterrent to would-be offenders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commit a crime, they will
be deprived
of freedom for a period of time.
Therefore
, future offenders are likely to become hesitant when they have intended to break the law.

On the other hand
, it is my concrete belief that there are other superior measures to mitigate
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
Firstly
, vocational schools should
be erected
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
helping youngsters equip the basic jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
thus
they will have chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decent income. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that poverty
is considered
breeding grounds for heinous acts.
Besides
, if the proportion of the commission of a crime
is minimized
, which contributes to saving national budgets allocated for prison maintenance.
Secondly
, Ethics and Laws should become school curriculums, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students to observe the law
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can avoid performing illegal activities.
For example
, civic education subject has provided students the basic knowledge about laws, thereby helping them to have the consciousness of adhering to the law.

In conclusion
, it is my view that there are other appropriate measures not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to curb lawbreaker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can contribute to social stability and prosperity.
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IELTS essay The past few decades have witnessed an escalating rate of wrongdoings,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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