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The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree? v.13

The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. v. 13
The rate of violence everywhere is increasing dramatically. Some individuals think that the best path to answer it is by educating people, on how to better raise their kids. In this essay, I will discuss the limitations of better parenting techniques and the other ways that the society can adopt to make it a safer place to live. Even though, In general, we can help reduce the misdemeanour in a place by imparting improved ways to people, on better raising their kids, there are limitations to it, however. Better parenting skills cannot ensure that the crime rates are kept lower. For example, most of the time criminals do not have any influence of their parents, on them. Rather, they do it out of necessity or based on their mindset at that moment. One such clear example is the case of prisoners who are well raised and never had any past experience of any offence, but ends doing heinous crimes. Nevertheless, there are ways that the administration can embrace to reduce the rate of violence. Firstly, the government can impose severe punishments, which in turn can abstain people from conducting the crimes. For instance, it is widely known that the crime rates in the middle east are the lowest, because of their higher rates of punishment. Secondly, the authorities could educate them and make people understand the importance of living in peace, thus helping the criminals change their attitude. To exemplify, the rates in Scandinavia reduced drastically after the inmates in the prison were allowed to roam freely and not by restricting their freedom by locking them up in a cell. Finally, the authorities could bring awareness among the masses to report any heinous acts that they come across in their life. Not only will it help all the crimes get reported, but also helps increase the awareness among the public. To conclude, although better parenting helps reduce the violence rates in the society, there are other ways, in addition to it, that needs to be adopted to keep the rates of misdeed low. Above all, the crime rates in most parts of the world have been increasing at an alarming rate, which needs to be tackled urgently.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of violence everywhere is increasing
dramatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best path to answer it is by educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, on how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
raise their kids. In this essay, I will discuss the limitations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
parenting techniques and the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
that the society can
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a safer place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Even though
,
In general
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
misdemeanour
in a place by imparting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
raising their kids, there are limitations to it,
however
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Better
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
cannot ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
lower.
For example
, most of the time criminals do not have any influence of their parents, on them.
Rather
, they do it out of necessity or based on their mindset at that moment. One such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example is the case of prisoners who are well raised and never had any
Consider using "experience".
past experience
of any
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ends doing heinous crimes.

Nevertheless
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
that the administration can embrace to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of violence.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can impose severe punishments, which in turn can abstain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from conducting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For instance
, it is
widely
known that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
are the lowest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of punishment.
Secondly
, the authorities could educate them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the importance of living in peace,
thus
helping the criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude. To exemplify, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in Scandinavia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
drastically
after the inmates in the prison were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to roam
freely
and not by restricting their freedom by locking them up in a cell.
Finally
, the authorities could bring awareness among the masses to report any heinous acts that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across in their life. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reported,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
increase the awareness among the public.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in the society, there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
,
in addition
to it, that needs to
be adopted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of misdeed low.
Above all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in most parts of the world have been increasing at an alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, which needs to
be tackled
urgently
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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