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The number of people who are overweight or obese is higher than previous generations. What is the reason for that

The number of people who are overweight or obese is higher than previous generations. What is the reason for that OAXE
Obesity is one of the major issues in many communes. We can see its increasing number comparing to quantity several decades ago. Currently, many people are suffering from corpulence because of abnormal nutrition conditions. In this essay, we will peer at several obesity causing problems and its solutions together. First off, we refer to the diet which majority of the overweight people keep. The people who has a heavy weight are prone to consume fatty dishes and products, Science has proved that oily food is much more capable of inducing obesity than the organic products. Fat holds a high percentage of cholesterol which is very likely thought to change into fat after being consumed. In order to cut the number of obesity. A man or a woman should keep a healthy diet and must avoid of eating unhealthy meals such as fast food, fizzy drinks, fatty meat and sweets. Another reason for being overweight is lack of physical activity. In many cases, not being involved in physical workouts is the 2nd largest reason to gain additional weight. If you ask some obese people about their daily routine, they affirm that they work all day sitting in one place and no physical activities. As I said above, due to the absence of burning your energy, you’ll be looked like Kungfu Panda after several months. Only way to keep your figure in its usual shape is to do some workouts in the gym or running every morning after getting up. The last thing that causes to put on weight is climate changing. Nowadays, our climate is changing rapidly. It is causing numerous affects in every life of the world. Humans are also being victims of it in many ways. We can’t say that these changes are directly related to gaining much weight in a human body. But some reasons which is occurring because of the climate changing are affecting living organisms like us. However, I’m afraid it is inevitable so as we are not able to make fixes in the nature. To conclude I should say that being overweight is not appropriate to live a normal lifestyle. It will engender many health and mental problems in our body and brain.
Obesity is one of the major issues in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communes. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its increasing number comparing to quantity several decades ago.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from corpulence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of abnormal nutrition conditions. In this essay, we will peer at
Possible agreement error. The noun obesity seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some obesity".
several obesity
causing problems and its solutions together.
First
off, we refer to the diet which majority of the overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
a heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
are prone to consume fatty dishes and products, Science has proved that oily food is much more capable of inducing obesity than the organic products.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fat
holds a high percentage of cholesterol which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
after
being consumed
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the number of obesity. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or a woman should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a healthy diet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
avoid of eating unhealthy meals such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food, fizzy drinks, fatty meat and sweets. Another reason for being overweight is lack of physical activity. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, not
being involved
in physical workouts is the 2nd largest reason to gain additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
. If you ask
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their daily routine, they affirm that they work all day sitting in one place and no physical activities. As I said above, due to the absence of burning your energy, you’ll
be looked
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kungfu
Panda after several months.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your figure in its usual shape is to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workouts in the gym or running every morning after getting up. The last thing that causes to put on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
is climate changing. Nowadays, our climate is changing
rapidly
. It is causing numerous affects in every life of the world. Humans are
also
being victims of it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. We can’t say that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are
directly
related to gaining much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
in a human body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which is occurring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the climate changing are affecting living organisms like us.
However
, I’m afraid it is inevitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as we are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixes
in the nature.

To conclude
I should say that being overweight is not appropriate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a normal lifestyle. It will engender
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health and mental problems in our body and brain.
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IELTS essay The number of people who are overweight or obese is higher than previous generations. What is the reason for that

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
368 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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