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Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? pggw
There is a heated controversy whether advantages or disadvantages of benefits of international students exchange for all teenage school students will outweigh. While some people think that the negative of overseas students for youngsters's learning are more than its positive, I consider that international students exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. On the one hand, there are several major drawbacks when teenagers go overseas. The first reason is financial. Today, you hardly see students live and study independently, not dêpnd on their parents. In order to become a exchange pupil, student need a sizeable expense for eating and homing in another country, which can create a burden for parents and families. Besides that, when doing student exchange, in a foreign country, you will encounter many social problems such as racism, crime, . . . when you are too young to protect yourself. However, in some families with more favorable conditions, parents want their children to go abroad, so they force them to study, that lead to unfortunate consequences for children such as resistance, depression. . . On the other hand, I believe that the benefits are more significant than such disadvantages. First, to become an oversea student exchange, especially exchange in countries with the excellent education systems such as Singapore, UK, . . . , they had to studied in a full of difficult and hardworking process. As a result, they are examples for youngsters to learn and follow, so that, the studying movement of the school will be improved. Second, international exchange students who study in another country, will know more foreign languages, more about the cultures of some countries, that improves their knowledge. In addition, when they have abundant of knowledge, students will easily find a suitable job, as well as new passions. In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of international student exchange programs are more significant than the disadvantages.
There is a heated controversy whether advantages or disadvantages of benefits of
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
for all teenage school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will outweigh. While
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of overseas
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students
for
Did you mean "youngster's" or "youngsters'"?
youngsters's
learning are more than its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
would be beneficial for all teenage school students.

On the one hand, there are several major drawbacks when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
go overseas. The
first
reason is financial.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, you hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and study
independently
, not
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dêpnd
on their parents. In order to become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
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exchange
pupil,
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student
need a sizeable expense for eating and homing in another
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country
, which can create a burden for parents and families.
Besides
that, when doing
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student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
, in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, you will encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social problems such as racism, crime
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, .
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.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
you are too young to protect yourself.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families with more favorable conditions, parents want their children to go abroad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they force them to study, that lead to unfortunate consequences for children such as resistance, depression.
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.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


On the other hand
, I believe that the benefits are more significant than such disadvantages.
First
, to become an oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with the excellent education systems such as Singapore, UK
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
they had to studied in a full of difficult and hardworking process.
As a result
, they are examples for youngsters to learn and follow,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, the studying movement of the school will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. Second,
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who study in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, will know more foreign languages, more about the cultures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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countries
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their knowledge.
In addition
, when they have abundant of knowledge,
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students
will
easily
find a suitable job,
as well
as new passions.

In conclusion
, I would argue that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
programs are more significant than the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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