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The number of multicultural cities is increasing due to globalisation. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

The number of multicultural cities is increasing due to globalisation. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? NmbPg
In a world that is far more globalised than ever before, vehicle transportation is one of the most controversial issues today. While some people argue that huge amount of cash should be allotted to building high speed railways, others think that cash should be spent on renovating the current public transportation. In this essay, I am going to shed some light on both points of view and extend my full support to the former view. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the government should allocate a significant amount of fund on a new speed train railway. The main reason for believing this is probably the importance of time. In other words, they say time is gold so every second is precious, also commuting by outdated transit means is time consuming and exhausting. One good illustration for this is fast transportation can encourage people to use more public transit than before that will result in traffic congestion reduction and clean air. As travelling has become a daily routine nowadays, a second reason supporting this argument might be the new high speed train that offers services to its passenger composing like comfortable seats and on-board services. Therefore, it is easy to see that why their argument has gained support. On the other hand, it is also possible to make an opposing case. It is often argued that government is responsible for preserving and improving existing public transit. Firstly, people expect their payments to the government will allot to the projects that provide more convenience for the citizens, not to be wasted on such a project that will be probably abandoned someday in the future. Being said that, wealth should be spent on the current public transit enhancements. Secondly, it is also believed that the fund gained from people should be spent on a variety of sections. While other potions are far from an appropriate level, large sums of fund wasted to construct new amenities such as very fast trains instead. Thus, it goes without saying that their viewpoint is credible and realistic. To conclude, this essay examined many expenditures on new railway construction and old public transit improvement. In my opinion, both arguments have their merits. On balance, I believe, authorities do not have to lose focus on new technologies and should use it to build new facilities to make a modern city that would bring more ease to people’s lives.
In a world
that is
far more
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalised' is British English.
globalised
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, vehicle transportation is one of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that huge amount of cash should
be allotted
to building high speed railways, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that cash should
be spent
on renovating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation. In this essay, I am going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on both points of view and extend my full support to the former view.

On one side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate a significant amount of fund on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
speed train railway. The main reason for believing this is
probably
the importance of time. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they say time is gold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every second is precious,
also
commuting by outdated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transit
means is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and exhausting. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
transportation can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transit
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that will result in traffic congestion reduction and clean air. As travelling has become a daily routine nowadays, a second reason supporting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
might be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
high speed train that offers services to its passenger composing like comfortable seats and on-board services.
Therefore
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that why their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
has gained support.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is responsible for preserving and improving existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transit
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their payments to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will allot to the projects that provide more convenience for the citizens, not to
be wasted
on such a project that will be
probably
abandoned someday in the future.
Being said
that, wealth should
be spent
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transit
enhancements.
Secondly
, it is
also
believed that the fund gained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be spent
on a variety of sections. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
potions are far from an appropriate level, large sums of fund wasted to construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
amenities such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
trains
instead
.
Thus
, it goes without saying that their viewpoint is credible and realistic.

To conclude
, this essay examined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
expenditures on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway construction and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transit
improvement. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
have their merits. On balance, I believe, authorities do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
lose focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a modern city that would bring more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay The number of multicultural cities is increasing due to globalisation. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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