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Write about the following topic: The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems both places.

: The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems both places. PRKMX
In recent years, people tend to move from agricultural regions to cosmopolitans to look for job opportunities. Several problems have resulted from this tendency and they should be tackled by a number of solutions. There are two issues can be anticipated. Firstly, too many people living in cities can cause overcrowding and overpopulation which could put infrastructure of big cities such as hospitals schools or public transport vehicle under high pressure and may lead to overloaded status. As a result, access to those resources could be limited, meaning that the quality of life of citizens will not be guaranteed. Besides, an increase in city population will result in the increased number of vehicles which can make the city become more polluted. What is more, city migration could contribute to the depletion of farming due to the lack of agricultural labor force. As a result, agricultural land can be uninhibited and this will lead to the food shortage. Since urbanization is a part of economic development, it seems impossible to stop this tendency and measures should be taken in order to control those problems. First of all, governments should encourage enterprises to invest in agricultural areas and use the local workforces. This will not only help to decrease the migration of people but also attract workers from big cities. Besides, improving essential infrastructure and providing better health care services to people in rural areas are also helpful in controlling urbanization. In conclusion, migration of people from agricultural areas to urban areas is a serious problem and solutions should be implemented urgently to overcome this issue. This essay discussed the possible problems of this tendency and provided some feasible solutions.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
regions to cosmopolitans to look for job opportunities. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have resulted from this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tendency and
they should
be tackled
by a number of solutions.

There are two issues can
be anticipated
.
Firstly
, too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can cause overcrowding and overpopulation which could put infrastructure of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as hospitals schools or public transport vehicle under high pressure and may lead to overloaded status.
As a result
, access to those resources could
be limited
, meaning that the quality of life of citizens will not
be guaranteed
.
Besides
, an increase in city population will result in the increased number of vehicles which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the city become more polluted.
What is more
, city migration could contribute to the depletion of farming due to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
labor force.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
land can
be uninhibited
and this will lead to the food shortage.

Since urbanization is a part of economic development, it seems impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this tendency and measures should
be taken
in order to control those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should encourage enterprises to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
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areas
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the local
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
attract workers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Besides
, improving essential infrastructure and providing better health care services to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
also
helpful in controlling urbanization.

In conclusion
, migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and solutions should
be implemented
urgently
to overcome this issue. This essay discussed the possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of this tendency and provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions.
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IELTS essay : The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems both places.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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