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Teaching children wrong and right by using some punishment

Teaching children wrong and right by using some punishment 73wWy
Some people claim that young people should learn the difference between right and wrong when they are at the early age and some punishment are vital to support them to learn difference between this main two factors. I completely agree with the idea of let them know right and wrong things sometime including some punishment in fact personality should teach them when their brain are fresh and in order to remember their life long punishment are also take part in the main role to raise them as a good person. It is very essential to give knowledge to kids about wrong and the right to become a clever man. This is because a person who grow without having the idea of which is wrong or right he has more chance to make more crime and it is not good for him as well as his family and the country where he lives. Parents and primary teachers need to teach their children to become a person who is have a good personality. A recent research concluded in japan older people they teach their children wrong and right things at their early age that is why japan is the most peaceful country in the world. Teaching to children might include punishment because a child do not obey the order of the teacher while there is no punishment but must be soft. Giving punishment is good for sometimes but it must be soft when a child suffer a forced punishment he may get some depression and even do suicide. So, teachers or parents teach them in the right way and punishment must be soft and should kind to the young people. In my experiment, my neighborhood treat their kids so badly and one of their child go to prison because he do some crime that may be because of his parents give wrong punishment. In conclusion, teaching right and wrong things should teach while they are in early age to become a good adult and in order to have a peaceful world and also parents and teacher should give some soft punishment to get the knowledge of difference between right and wrong.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should learn the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
when they are at the early age and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "punishments"?
punishment
are vital to support them to learn difference between this main two factors. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
things sometime including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in fact personality should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them when their brain
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
fresh and in order to remember their life long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
take
part in the main role to raise them as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
person.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to give knowledge to kids about
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wrong
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to become a clever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. This is
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because
a person who grow without having the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
he has more chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more crime and it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for him
as well
as his family and the country where he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
and primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their children to become a person who is
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
personality. A recent research concluded in japan older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
things at their early age
that is
why japan is the most peaceful country in the world.

Teaching to children might include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a child do not obey the order of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
while there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
. Giving
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punishment
is
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good
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
when a child
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "suffers".
suffer
a forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
he may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
depression and even do suicide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
and should kind to the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my experiment, my neighborhood treat their kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
badly
and one of their child go to prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "does", "did".
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crime that may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
punishment.

In conclusion
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
things should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
while they are in early age to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
adult and in order to have a peaceful world and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the knowledge of difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
.
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IELTS essay Teaching children wrong and right by using some punishment

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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